To My Adorable Aunt

Moments like birthdays are where we are opportune to tell our dear ones how feel about them. I am not a natural at expressing deep-rooted thoughts about people but for you, I will try. I will put my all into saying it the way it comes from my heart on what I have over the years known you to be.

I got to know you more when I desperately needed guidance. I was very young and on the verge of taking the next leap in life, a new phase, a gigantic step. I closely watched you from afar. I was skeptical at first if I there is something to learn from you. You seem to have some aura of boundaries around you. Some air of mystery. You were elusive. So I drew nearer and two qualities I got from you - hard work and patience.

I discovered you put everything into anything you do. You studied hard when I thought you should have stopped reading. You put your might into what you find you set your hands on. You didn’t use to cook always but when you do, it was like a perfect meal from above. One could even see the beautiful hard work in what you wear and how you wear it. You were never exposing, showy nor flashy but always on-point. And when you counsel me, I marvel at the manner at which you preach hard work.

Aunty Sade, though you had your ups and down in life as every human does, you were always patient. You are brisk and smart yet, never in a hurry. You do things one at a time, a step after the other and you always finish strong. You set your eyes on your goal and work your ways patiently at it till you get the prize. You were never tetchy, never grumpy; always persistent.

With age and time, your being transcends these qualities. You are a success-builder. You believed in the theory of ‘you become successful when those around you are successful.’ You build doors where there are none for opportunities to knock on. You impact positively everyone that is lucky to meet you. You are so welcoming and pleasant, always ready to be of assistance; so approachable on any subject matter.

Sista Mi (as we fondly call you), you are not an egoist-always selfless. I have also learnt that I don’t have to be the ‘head of state’ or the head of family before I can do my bit. You are a perfect practitioner of ‘When deeds speak, words are nothing.’ You just don’t say things, you do them. You are not boastful. I learnt I can always go a little more.  You made me see the beauty in making people.’ 

 I appreciate all that you have been to me. Your counsel is an unwavering voice that kept me through trying periods.

Just like I can’t talk about all I learnt from you enough, I can’t pray for you enough either. But these prayer I say to God concerning you that just like a living tree planted by the riverside, you shall forever be watered.  Your source shall never run dry.

Happy Birthday Ma, God bless you.

Olori Oko (as u fondly call me)

Revenge Served Cold

Not too long ago in a not too far away village called Airegin where the source of livelihood lies in palm kernel oil, there was an uprising that almost engulfed the land. Fathers were killing sons, daughters were eating their mothers, friends became sworn enemies and the gods kept silent. There was rape, famine, pain and agony in the land. Innocent bloods were spilled, evil persisted yet, the keepers of the gate left it open. Palm kernels were harvested in millions of bunches by the winning group and anyone who stood against them or that was not in their support was either killed or jailed. You either stand with them or die. Just a little indifference will cost you your life either directly on the pathways as you walk or indirectly in their jails. There was total chaos. There was no mercy.

When the revolt and counter-revolt got to an unbearable point, the Elders of a neighboring land of ASU waded in the troubled waters of Airegin. They called all the warring factions in the land and advised them on what to do. They said they did it in their land and it is working. That even the fore-fathers of Airegin did it and it worked before greed scattered it. So the people of Airegin took the advice. They would unanimously appoint a king that would rule for a maximum of 52moons twice. This pegs his total ruling season at 104moons. This king will have an Otun that will step in if he the king is unavailable, messes up or dies. There will also be two ruling but different councils of chiefs that would be selected from each family in the village. These councils will serve as guides to the king. They will also have the authority to dethrone by majority, the king of the land. With this arrangement, the elders of ASU said, no family will cheated and there will be equality in the land.

So a man named Oba who came from the family of the cheated was agreed upon to be the King. And just as advised, he had Otun and the council of chiefs. With Oba’s experience as a former warrior, he was able to successfully rule for the first 52moons. By the time he was coming for his second season, he had become very powerful. He became so powerful the people that those who sponsored his selection could not handle him. He wielded his Kingly power so much he became a terror to them. He was able to impose in his friends, praise-singers, concubines and loyalists among families as chiefs in the two councils. He gave palm kernel merchandize to some of his God-sons, to some he appointed as advisers in his palace, to some as liaison chiefs between his village and other villages. He became a force to reckon with in the land, you dare not go against him. He will crush you.

When he was leaving after he ruled 104moons, he imposed one of his concubines – Heytay, as the head of one of the councils of chiefs when the next king was being installed. Other chiefs were furious but could not do much because of Oba’s Influence. About four-half moons into the new season, Heytay used 628 bags of cowries to buy 12 horses and repair her hut. This was the mistake that the chiefs were looking for. They fumed fire and brimstone. They would not agree that Heytey remains their head. There would be no gathering of the chiefs if she doesn’t vacate the position as their head. A chief named Pharook led this brouhaha. It was bad enough she was head, but now that she has done something wrong, she must go. Oba’s power could not withstand the insurrection; his concubine had to be removed as the head. Oba bowed out in shame.

Several moons later, it was discovered that palms harvested on the farms were more than the oils produced. Some Palm Kernel merchants were suspected to be stealing from the village. Chief Pharook who has been a member of the council of chiefs from inception was appointed as a team-head  of chiefs that will look into the case. Chief Pharook was chosen because of his long-lasting uprightness in the council. After so much investigation, a particular merchant was among those that were fingered to be stealing. Ifetola is his name and he happens to be Oba’s godson. Though he is a palm merchant, he doesn’t produce oil. His trade is to produce chaff used for cooking. Chief Pharook told him he would have to pay.

So Ifetola ran to Oba and told him about events unfolding. Oba responded, ‘my son, everybody steals. Everybody is a thief, just that they have not been caught. I will teach you what to do.’ And he added ‘I even have personal issue with that Pharook. He was the one that led the chiefs that ouster my concubine as their head. I will deal with him.’ He said he would let Pharook know that ‘once a king, always a king.’ And Ifetola knowing that no one offends Oba and goes scot-free, he allowed his godfather played the game he knows how to play best-revenge.

Oba called the head of the king’s guard, told him he wants to make a thief out of Pharook in the eyes of the villagers.  He also told Ifetola to promise Pharook 450 bags of cowries so that he would not be named among those that will pay for stealing. He said to his son ‘everybody has a price; it is for u to know the amount.’ Ifetola did as he was told. He called Pharook and gave him some painted cowries in the presence of the king’s guards without his knowledge. After two moons, Oba told Ifetola, ‘though he has removed your name, now is the time to nail him.’

So Ifetola came out openly to tell the villagers that he gave Pharook some handfuls of cowries and set the king’s guards to be witnesses. And chief pharook went back and forth on collecting or not collecting the cowries. Pharook then said he collected it to let the villagers know that Ifetola bribed him. And the story kept going to and fro.

One thing is clear; Ifetola can’t have access to the king’s guards if his godfather did not pull the strings. He would have gone to the village guards if it was his idea to show that he was not a thief. And if he (or is it his godfather?) didn’t have ulterior motives, he wouldn’t have confessed after his name has been removed. Moreover, how did he manage to be among the richest men in the village in just 728moons (three-half seasons)?

And either chief Pharook admits it or not, either he demanded or he was enticed, either he has supporters or not, he is going down in history as a pretending and corrupt chief. His brilliantly built image as a chief of repute has been bashed. He has found himself on the tree with branches far apart. It doesn’t matter if he is a Nailizarb or Nairegin monkey, any attempt to leap will bring him smashing on the ground with an echoing thud. Just has Heytay made that disgraceful move, Pharook fell for the bait and believe me, the battle is beyond him and Ifetola. He has found himself in an intricate web which he can’t loosen himself from.

Is Oba the person at war with Pharook?

Joobreel

9 Ways To Become an Optimist

Some people are more optimistic by nature, but optimism is not a fixed attribute.  It’s a choice we have control over.  Every morning, we either choose to wake up grumpy or wake up with a positive outlook.  Research has shown that, in the long run, optimistic people handle stress better, get sick less often, live longer, and are happier and more successful than their pessimistic counterparts.

The good news is that we can all develop skills to improve optimism.  Here are nine ideas to get you started:

1.  Find the opportunity in every difficulty.

‘Optimist’ is a word which here refers to a person who focuses on the positive.  For instance, if an optimist lost her left arm in a car accident, she might say in a hopeful voice, “I’m alive.  I don’t have my left arm anymore, but I do have my right one, and my life still to live.”

Optimism does not mean ignoring the problem entirely; it means understanding that setbacks are inevitable, often temporary, and that you have the skills and abilities to combat the challenges you face.  What you are dealing with may be difficult, but it is important to remain hopeful and positive about a brighter future.  Optimism will inspire a sense of hopefulness and the confidence that is required to take full advantage of the opportunities that do exist.  Remember, the most beautiful rainbows come from the sunlight after a very dark storm.

2.  Surround yourself with positive people.

You are only as good as the company you keep.  If you’re around gloomy people, there’s a good chance you won’t to be smiling.  Make it your mission to dodge negativity.  Surround yourself with supportive friends who have positive outlooks.  As they say, if you want to soar with the eagles, you have to stop hanging out with the ducks.

Optimism is a learned habit, and it is positively contagious.  Surround yourself with people who could infect you with positivity.  In turn pass your new good mood on to a friend or stranger in words and deed – let somebody have that parking space, let that person with only a few items cut in front of you at the market.  The simple act of doing something nice for others is actually a good pick-me-up all by itself.

3.  Give love, receive love, and invest in love.

LOVE:  It’s the greatest force in the universe.  It’s a treasure that people would give anything for, yet it costs nothing to give and receive. There is an endless supply, and it can be extended to family, friends and strangers at any moment.  It increases positivity and acts like a shield against negativity.  It forgives, heals, encourages and inspires.

Give love, receive love and invest in love every day.  Because where you invest your love, you invest your life.

4.  Be realistic, and expect ups and downs.

A foundation of realism keeps things in perspective, and helps prevent things from being blown out of proportion.  Just because you’re an optimist doesn’t mean you’re not going to have bad days.  You will – that’s reality.  Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.

Trying to be 100% positive all the time is wanting to be an ocean in which waves only rise up and never come crashing down.  However, when we recognize that the rising and crashing waves are part of the same one ocean, we are able to let go and be at peace with the way things are.

Bottom line:  Prepare for the worst but hope for the best – the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.  Read Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality.

5.  Inspire yourself with a smile and positive reminders.

If you expect the worst, the worst will happen.  If you let things bother you, they will.  But if you smile, you’ll feel better.  Studies have shown that putting a cheerful smile on your face can trigger a part of your brain that actually makes you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future.

Also, feed your optimism with positive reminders.  Write down short statements that inspire optimism.  Put them in places where you’ll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, and on your computer monitor.

• “Anything is possible.”
• “Lead a life of positivity.”
• “The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life.”
• “I always have a choice.”
• “Even the longest journey begins with a single step.”
• “I will look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism shine.”

Read The Happiness Project.

6.  Work on the things you can control.

Pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on negative things that haven’t happened yet, while simultaneously preventing you from getting things done now.  Pessimism breeds indecision.  It’s a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you can’t afford to take for granted.  Every minute spent worrying guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy what life has to offer.

The solution?  Acknowledge the things you can’t control and don’t become a victim.  Stop thinking about what is happening to you, and start thinking about what you can do to make it better.  Know that you almost always have a choice. Is your job a bummer?  Find a new one.  Not ready to leave because of your 401K and vacation time?  Then celebrate those reasons and remember that you chose to stay.

7.  Count your blessings.

There is so much good, so much beauty, so much love in your life.  You have so much right now to be thankful for, you just need to pause long enough to appreciate it.  Do so.  This will help frame a better attitude and take your mind off of the negatives.

Start a feel-good journal.  Buy a blank journal and fill it with things that make you smile, like a photo of your pet, or a compliment a friend gave you.  Use it to track your accomplishments and celebrate your victories.  Stick only positive things in your journal and open it up whenever you’re feeling down.

8.  Appreciate that nothing in life is permanent.

Research has shown that optimists and pessimists attribute the reasons for success and failure differently.  Pessimists tend to attribute negative events to permanent, personal, and pervasive factors.  Optimists tend to attribute negative events to non-personal, non-permanent, and non-pervasive factors.  ‘Permanent’ are factors that will be with you throughout life; ‘personal’ are factors that relate to us as individuals; and ‘pervasive’ are factors that affect our ability in other parts of our life.

Bottom line:  Nothing is permanent.  However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.

9.  Focus on the present.

People often obsess themselves with the past and the future.  But life is happening right now.  You can’t learn something or remember something that’s happening now if your mind is stuck in another time.

It takes about eight seconds of intense focus to process a new piece of information into your long-term memory.  So don’t let your life and your mind slip away.  Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, practice being and living in the present moment.  Remember, right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.
Sourced from Marc and Angel Hack Life http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/05/30/9-ways-to-become-an-optimist/

Keep Going

You have done a great deal, and you’re capable of doing a great deal more. You’re capable and effective, and capable of becoming even more effective.

With each new day, you have a new opportunity to live up to your potential. Through focused, purposeful action, you can raise your standards and then exceed those standards.

Making use of what you’ve already achieved, you can achieve even more. With your wisdom and experience, you can gain ever more valuable wisdom and experience.

No matter how far you’ve come, there is always another adventure to be lived. There’s always a new and fulfilling way to make a difference.

To live is to grow, in strength, in wisdom, in experience and accomplishment. To grow is to live, in the richest and most genuinely satisfying way.

You’ve come a long way, so by all means keep going and growing. What’s so great about life is that you can make it greater... Ralph

WHO WE LOVE, WHO WE SETTLE FOR AND WHO WE ARE MEANT FOR

I went through my BB’s recent updates and saw ‘there is a big difference between who we love, who we settle for and who we are meant for’ on a younger friend’s (about 16 yrs old) personal message and I was wowed. I was fascinated by the simple truth the message transmits. I loved it so much I copied and pasted it on my TL which automatically updates my FB status. About three hours later, I got an FB notification that someone made a comment. I checked and it was another friend of mine’s comment and she asked ‘So, what’s the difference?’ 

Then I said to myself, this is simple English now. ‘Who we love’ is who we really care about, who we want to be with, who we are fond of, the one who makes us smile when we think about him (her)…; who we settle for is the person we got as a result of either our wrong or right moves and who we are meant for is the person we should really be with. Very Simple!

Suddenly, some thoughts on the question popped up in my mind in a very different dimension. Now before I proceed, I have answered the question of ‘what is the difference?’ in simple plain terms so you can stop reading because the next explanations might not be acceptable to you. Also, let me bring to your notice if you didn’t know that I am not a marriage/relationship counselor/expert, a motivational speaker neither am I a Bible Scholar, so anything I write is my opinion which makes it subjective. Discussing these different but closely related phrases goes thus:

Will

Will according to the Encarta Dictionaries means ‘the part of the mind with which somebody consciously decides things’. It also means ‘the power to make decisions’.  Another meaning is ‘a desire or inclination to do something’. With these three definitions of the word ‘will’, we can see that ‘will’ has to do with decision making by our thought-process, the choices we make. Will can be an inclination or desire that arises from the inner-most part our existence. Possibly the subconscious and underlying figments coming to play outwardly, thereby fine-tuning our conscious self into making strong, desirable decisions backed by determination.

There are two types of will – the will of God (Father) [Math. 12:50; Mark 3:55] and the will of man (Flesh) [2 Peter 1:21; John 1:13]. Though God is our creator, yet he gave us the liberty to choose what we desire (Luke 22:42) but admonishes us to choose that which is good (Deut. 30:19) that we and our seed may live. Now there is will of God that is good, another is acceptable and the last is perfect [Romans 12:2]. You might begin to wonder, what has will got to do with the issue at hand? Don’t rush, just chill.

Who we love

When we decide to love someone for whatever reason we choose, we are doing our will. Don’t get me wrong here; the love I am talking about is that which is related to ‘marriage /relationship things’. The guy you are dating beats the crap out of you, your girlfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend doesn’t respect you, and your girlfriend can’t be trusted on any issue and amongst all these, you still decide to love him (her). May be he (she) loves you so much and you love him (her) in return or probably you have been hurt and you will never love him (her) anymore, then it’s your choice, your decision.

You have decided nothing will make you practice law, you will never quit drinking, you will always preach the gospel, you must go to Canada, you must marry that person at all cost, you will not quit till you succeed on a particular thing, you gave up on something, and you must kill that person. You have made your choices, you have decided.

‘Who we love’ are our choices, our decisions, and our resolves. Who we love are those things we have made up our minds on to do whatever the outcomes are. These are our wills – The will of man. These choices of ours can either be good ones or bad ones.

Who we settle for

The outcomes of our decisions are who we settle for. They are the consequences of our moves. At the moment ‘we love’ a lady whose father is a drug baron and mother a professional prostitute, and she turns out to be a thief, that is what ‘we settle for’. At this point, you don’t cry over spill milk. What you have sown as a will, you reap as an outcome.

Sometimes, who we love is supposed to be who we are meant for but for some reasons, we end with some else. If who we settle for eventually is good enough or very close to ‘who we are meant for’ but for circumstances, meaning we are still on course but for some temporary setbacks, that is ‘acceptable’ or ‘permissible’ will of God. This is the case of Abram when he gave birth to Ishmael. But when who we settle for is not near who we are meant for but for our own selfish reasons and God in is sovereignty permitted it, it could be disastrous. This is a case of Hezekiah when rather than die in God’s perfect will, requested for more time.

Who we are meant for

Locating who we are meant for is not yam neither is it beans, It requires a whole lot of letting go. Yet, it is the easiest thing to do. Like an adage in Yoruba language ‘where we are going is not far, it is those points where we stop to greet that are numerous’ (translated). There is just one woman out there that suits  just one man. Its takes trusting God totally and leaning not on your guts that will make you locate this partner of yours.

Discovering your own special purpose for which you have been called it the utmost on earth. Fulfilling this purpose is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you. Hey! Don’t think about what you are not reading here, it’s not everybody that is called to be a pastor, Rev. Bishop or the likes. No, that’s not what I am saying. The ‘parable of the talent’ wasn’t about being a priest or whatever; it was about using the little that has been bestowed upon you for propagating His work and Human development in your own unique way.

The perfect will of God is seeking and finding that only person that is meant for you. The perfect will of God is by His grace, discovering your purpose and fulfilling it. Who you love, who you settle for and who you are meant for are three separate entities but If who you love is the same person you settle for and it’s that same person that you are meant for, then there is no way you won’t be a god before you leave this world.

Joobreel

Make It Happen

Beyond where you are is the beautiful place where you want to be. Push, push, and push yourself there.

Beyond where you are comfortable is where you will be fulfilled. Step bravely away from what you know and push towards your true desire.

You are just like everyone else until you prove otherwise. Make the commitment to prove otherwise.

Make this the day you stop running and hiding from what you know you must do. Make this the moment you choose to do the difficult work that will bring fulfillment to your life and your world.

Find true delight in the challenges. Find real, sweet satisfaction in the discipline of your own achievements.

Do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to act on your authentic vision. And make your life mean something that means something to you... Ralph

14 Rules for Being YOU

Be yourself.  Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  And above all, be true to YOU – if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

Starting today…

1. Get your priorities straight. – Twenty years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of jeans you bought.  What will matter is how you loved, what you learned and how you applied this knowledge.
2. Take full responsibility for your goals. – If you really want good things in your life to happen, you have to make them happen yourself.  You can’t sit around and hope that somebody else will help you; you have to make your own future and not think that your destiny is tied to the actions and choices of others.  Read Quitter.
3. Know your worth. – When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself fromthe equation.  Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do.  Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you.  It’s not pride – it’s self-respect.  Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people.  Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life.  Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
4. Choose the right perspective. – Perspective is everything.  When faced with long check-out lines, traffic jams, or waiting an hour past your appointment time, you have two choices:  You can get frustrated and enraged, or you can view it as life’s way of giving you a guilt-free breather from rushing, and spend that time daydreaming, conversing, or watching the clouds.  The first choice will raise your blood pressure.  The second choice will raise your consciousness.
5. Don’t let your old problems punish your dreams.  – Learn to let go of things you can’t control.  The next time you’re tempted to rant about a situation that you think ended unfairly, remind yourself of this:  You’ll never kill off your anger by beating the story to death.  So close your mouth, unclench your fists, and redirect your thoughts.  When left untended, the anger will slowly wither, and you’ll be left to live in peace as you grow toward a better future.
6. Choose the things that truly matter. – Some things just don’t matter much – like the kind of car you drive.  How big of a deal is that in the grand scheme of life?  Not a big at all.  But lifting a person’s heart?  Now, that matters.  The whole problem with most people is, they KNOW what matters, but they don’t CHOOSE it.  They get distracted.  They don’t put first things first.  The hardest and smartest way to live is choosing what truly matters, and pursuing it passionately.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
7. Love YOU. – Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are.  Yes, let someone love you despite all of this; and let that someone be YOU.
8. Accept your strengths and weaknesses. – Be confident being YOU.  We often waste too much time comparing ourselves to others, and wishing to be something we’re not.  Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when we accept everything we are, and aren’t, that we are able to become who we are capable of being.
9. Stand up for YOU. – You were born to be real, not to be perfect.  You’re here to be YOU, not to be what someone else wants you to be.  Stand up for yourself, look them in the eye, and say, “Don’t judge me until you know me, don’t underestimate me until you challenge me, and don’t talk about me until you’ve talked to me.”
10. Learn from others, and move on when you must. – You can’t expect to change people.  Either you accept who they are, or you start living your life without them.  And just because something ends, doesn’t mean it never should have been.  You lived, you learned, you grew, and you moved on.  Some people come into your life as blessings; others come into your life as lessons.
11. Be honest in your relationships. – Don’t cheat!  If you’re not happy, be honest, and move on if you must.  When you’re truly in love, being faithful isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a joy.
12. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. – Life as we know it can change in a blink of an eye.  Unlikely friendships can blossom, important careers can be tossed aside and a long lost hope can be rekindled.  It might feel a little uncomfortable at times, but know that life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  So if you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is not an ending, but a new beginning.  Read The Power of Full Engagement.
13. Be who you were born to be. – Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.  When it comes to living as a passionate, inspired human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime comfortably in your own.  Follow your heart, and take your brain with you.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.
14. Never give up on YOU. – This is your life; shape it, or someone else will.  Strength shows not only in the ability to hold on, but in the ability to start over when you must.  It is never too late to become what you might have been.  Keep learning, adapting, and growing.  You may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.  Sourced from Marc and angel Hack Life  http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/05/23/14-rules-for-being-you/

10 Things You Must Give Up To Be Successful

When we think about how to achieve success, we often focus on the skills and habits we should add to our lives.  But sometimes the key to success actually lies in our ability to give up certain habits and behaviors.  So starting today…

1. Give up the habit of waiting. – The way you spend your time defines who you are.  You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when; you can only decide how you are going to live right now.  Trust me, a year from now you will wish you had started today.  Read The Now Habit.
2. Give up the excuses. – Sooner or later you will come to realize that it’s not what you lose along the way that counts; it’s what you do with what you still have.  When you let go, forgive, and move on, you in no way change the past, you change the future.
3. Give up trying to be perfect. – Sometimes we try to show the world that we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone.  But we can’t please everyone, and we shouldn’t try.  The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our love, our complex emotions – our authentic imperfections.  When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of perfect, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.  There is no need to put on a mask.  There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.  You are perfectly imperfect just the way you are.
4. Give up doing things you know are wrong. – Nothing is more damaging to you than doing something that you believe is wrong.  Your beliefs alone don’t help you grow and thrive, your behavior and actions do.  So always do what you know in your heart is right, for you.
5. Give up feelings of entitlement. – Nobody owes you anything.  When you approach life with the false sense that you are owed things, you will naturally become less productive and constantly find yourself disappointed by reality.  When you are grateful for what you have, and see positive things as bonuses, versus owed entitlements, you will earn great successes gradually as you grow.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
6. Give up relationships that want you to be someone else. – The best kind of relationship is the one that makes you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself.
7. Give up letting others decide what you can and can’t do. – In order to live your own authentic life, you have to follow YOUR inner GPS, not someone else’s.  When others say, “You can’t do it!” or “That’s impossible,” don’t lose hope.  Just because they couldn’t doesn’t mean you can’t.
8. Give up being a helpless victim. – Yes, it is unfortunate that sometimes bad things happen to the best of people.  Life can be unfair, unkind and unjust.  However, being stuck in a victim mentality does not nurture your ability to move onward and upward.  You’ve got to stand back up and take positive steps to heal and grow.
9. Give up worrying about past failures. – Accept your past without regret, handle your presence with confidence, and face your future without fear.  You are today where your thoughts and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions take you.  Read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
10. Give up blaming everyone else. – Either you own your situation or it will own you.  Either you take responsibility for your life, or someone else will.  Blame is a scapegoat – it’s an easy way out of taking accountability for your own outcome.  It’s a lot easier to point the finger at someone or something else instead of looking within.  Blame is not constructive; it does not help you or anyone else – nobody wins in the blame game.  The amount of energy and stress it takes to place blame elsewhere takes away from your ability to move forward and find a real solution.

And remember, the road you are traveling may be the more challenging one, but don’t lose faith.  Don’t listen to the doubters, don’t let setbacks keep you down, and most of all, don’t give up on yourself.

It’s okay if you don’t know how much more you can handle.  It’s fine if you don’t know exactly what to do next.  Eventually you’ll let go of how things ‘should be’ and start to see all the great possibilities in front of you.  This is your life – grab the wheel with both hands and keep steering yourself in the right direction. Culled from Marc and Angel Hack Life 

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/06/04/10-things-you-must-give-up-to-be-successful/

10 Enemies of Personal Greatness

1. Always taking the path of least resistance. – Just because you are struggling does NOT mean you are failing.  Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.  Good things don’t come to those who wait.  Good things come to those who work hard and struggle to pursue the goals and dreams they believe in.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
2. Comparing yourself to everyone else. – You will never fully believe in yourself if you keep comparing yourself to everyone else.  Being true to yourself in thoughts, words and actions is as important as being kind and true to others.
3. Worrying too much about what others think of you. – As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.  Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you ownyourself.  If you’re being true to yourself and it isn’t enough for the people around you, change the people around you.
4. Ignoring your gut instincts. – There’s a difference between being agreeable and agreeing to everything.  Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes.  There is no need to explain or make sense of it.  Just trust the little inner voice when it’s telling you, “This is a bad idea.”
5. Holding on when you need to move on. – Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, it means you choose happiness over hurt.  Sometimes you have to love people from a distance and give them the space and time to get their minds right before you let them back into your life.
6. Living in the past. – If you don’t leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future.  Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.  Life is a journey that is only traveled once.  Today’s moments quickly become tomorrow’s memories.  So appreciate every moment for what it is, because the greatest gift of life is life itself. Read The Power of Now.
7. Doing the wrong things just because others are too. – Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it.  Right is right, even if you are the only one doing it.  Always do what you know in your heart is right, for you.
8. Allowing small problems to overwhelm you. – Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today but eventually.  When you’re upset, ask yourself, “Will this matter to me in a year’s time?”  Most of the time it won’t.  Remember, sometimes bad things in life open up your eyes to the good things you weren’t paying attention to before.
9. Surrendering to the draw of comfort. – The most common and harmful addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.  Why pursue greatness when you’ve already got 324 channels and a recliner?  Just pass the chip dip and forget about your grand plans.  NO!  The truth is growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now, and open doors of opportunity that would otherwise not exist.  Read The Power of Habit.
10. NOT believing that you CAN. – If we don’t know that greatness is possible, we won’t bother attempting it.  All too often, we literally do not know any better than good enough.  Sometimes you have to try to do what you think you can’t do, so you realize that you actually CAN.  And sometimes it takes more than one attempt.  If ‘Plan A’ doesn’t work out, don’t fret; the alphabet has another 25 letters that would be happy to give you a chance to get it right.  The wrong choices usually bring us to the right places, eventually.  But you must believe in your own potential to get there.       Sourced from Marc and Angel Hack Life  http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/06/06/10-enemies-of-personal-greatness/

Being the Authentic You

It’s difficult to truly and honestly be who you are. It is difficult in this our present world where we all want to fit it. It so difficult, in fact, that many people don’t make the attempt of being there original self.

And yet, it is even more difficult to continue, day after day, year after year, to deny the beautiful, unique reality of who you are. Though it is hard and demanding work to be you, it is the most satisfying and fulfilling thing you can do with your time.

For it is by being true to your purpose that you fill your world and your experience with exquisite richness. The real, true you is who can offer the very most value, comfort, encouragement and joy to others, to the world, and to all of life.

Living each moment and each situation with uncompromising authenticity is a difficult, inconvenient and often embarrassing choice. Even so, it is far and away the best choice you can make, not only for yourself but also for everything else you care about.

There is great and unique beauty within you. That beauty longs to, and absolutely deserves to see the light of day. Start being you now... Ralph

30 things you need to stop doing to yourself

I stumbled upon this article and decided to share it with you. If you have not read anything on this blog before, please try and read this piece. I am sure its bound to change something in you.

1 Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2 Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.


3 Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4 Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5 Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

To read more, please follow this link http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

A very big thank you

Good day everyone, how was your weekend? Mine was hectic yet beautiful. It was superb. I had one of the best weekends of my life. I loved every part of it. 

Well, its a new week so let's make the best out of it. Put your mind to work on whatever you are set to do. Have a solid, well written plan for the week, focus on attaining on all the goals you have set out for yourself, have a determined mind to see them achieved, don't procrastinate and remember to pray. That is the key to achieving success. I have heard of a man that said ' He was so much in a hurry to finish the day's activities that he has just two hours to pray every morning'. Two hours in the morning. He knew the importance of prayer that he always finished his set objectives no matter how numerous daily.

Before I go, let me gist you of how how my birthday went down. I didn't have to iron as I intended. In fact, I didn't touch a thing called iron. It was 'merrying' all day. So much to drink and eat. However, that wasn't  the most important part of the day.  The sweetness of the day started when I started receeiving messages.

I made I thanksgiving prayer till around 12am and boom! The first BB message and the rest I couldn't note. They were troops of messages text, FB, twitter and I was wowed! I couldn't keep up with responding to them. Some were wishing me well, some prayers, some 'ganster' types, some were admonishments, different forms. I really do appreciate them.

Then calls came in the day from various people, some expected some surprising. Then all my Blackberry contacts that knew me directly had their display pictures up for me. I was thrilled. I got the sweetest greeting when Folabi and Ife sent me a voice message, best encouraging words when Funmi Adedeji-Aluko called me for over 10mins, most surprising picture display when Thorby said she had waited months to use 'that' picture of mine as her dp,  most surprising call from my sweet mum -Mrs Ogunjobi, the longest call when Uncle Abo called and that call was the most hilarious,  most emotional outburst when I responded Yusuf's message (he was d 1st to send a message to me *Thanks Bro* ), the best hug from Olamipo, best gift from Opeyemi  and the most exciting moment, when my RIGHT HAND MEN showed up. It was fun all day.

I really want to use this medium to thank my family members - BOB, Symbol, Yombols, Shopsy, Cindy,  Dupsy, Pepisco, Adex, Sisqo G, Beejay, 'Mo, Fola, A.I.R, Peejay, Mizzle, Dami, Uncle T'abo, Tosino, Papuchillo, Anty Folake, Sister Sade, Anty Shade, Olamipo, Base. 4, Loosh, Quuen Proxy, Shalewa, endless...

My friends too numerous to mention like Tola, Tope, Titi, Lanre, Kenny, Thorby, Wyclef, Kolade, Fola, Goro, Chino, Oge, Sherifat, Stanley,  Chidi, Yomi, Bola, Florence, Mama niyen, Bolu, David, Adam, Tolu, MSB, Wale, Isaac, Ife Adebayo, Joseph, Shakur, Yetunde, Desola, Hollar, Oyinlola, Dara,  Funmi, Adiga, Kole, Olakay, Segun, Iwayemi, Lanre, Sleek, Seun, Ifedunni, Ojelabi, ACE Dude, Akeem, Tutuola, Freda and others.

My friends that wished me well via Facebook (i dear not try to write those names because there wont be space to do so, and am sure my memory will fail me)

My RHM - Hydee, Sean and Ibk. My super-special sweetheart - Opeyemi.

Please, if your name isn't mentioned, it doesn't make you less important to me. You are always appreciated.

I thank everybody here-mentioned or not, for making me know that I am loved. I give glory to God for endowing me with beautiful people- you guys are the best.

To my wonderful parents,you are always loved.

That's a picture of me and my cake. Its still remaining and If you want, ring me.

NB:  Please, I need a PA to respond to my over 200 posts on FB.

Joobreel

Witness the Rebirth: My New World Order

Hello people, I am highly privileged to share this very important piece of information with you. It involves just a minor but very vital change. This ‘small change’ is pivotal to the next coming events. The change will come as surprise to many of you who knew me before now but it is compulsory it gets done.

The President of Nigeria, in his 2012 democracy day speech made a ‘change’ that generated a lot of interests.  A lot of statements, comments, press releases; plenty titles, captions and headings of emotional outburst were all over the place. Lecturers, Lawyers, Social Activists, Politicians, Alumni, students, empathizers…everybody all had something to say.  The community – students and staff- that was directly affected cried foul. They take pride in what they possess – the name UNILAG.

UNILAG is a name a meaning Nigerian youth will want to have on his CV. It’s a signature, a brand. This change by the president sparked up a spontaneous and most unprecedented, non-political motivated protest by this peace-loving community.  A change will either make you a break you. It can either thwart or propel you. One can never remain the same again after such a change. MAULAG will ruin the glory of UNILAG.

God, our creator, knows the importance of change. In the beginning, He changed the form of the earth. He separated light from darkness before He could proceed to other events. He personally saw to the change of Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Jacob to Israel amongst others. Simon was rechristened Peter – ‘the Rock’. Those are powerful pointers to reasons why change is important. Abram had to become Abraham to become father of nations, Simon to Peter that the church might be built upon him. I am yet to see a man that had that ‘change’ to Judas. I have not met one.

When a change is necessary, it can be delayed. But when that change is compulsory, no time must be wasted. The change must be effected immediately without prejudice, fear or sentiment. I have seen ‘Abereola’ changed to ‘Sam-Abereola‘, ‘Ogunsanya’ to ‘Olusanya’, ‘Amoniyan’ to ‘Bolade’, ‘Agbogunleri’ to ‘Alli’. They were unavoidable changes, they were implemented.

About this time some 29 years ago, a particular woman was in the process of childbirth. She was in labor. She wanted a child that will carry on the family name, she wanted a boy. And behold, she brought forth a child- a son, as she wanted. He was christened Olamide Jubril. His surname, he inherited by commission.

But on this day the 9th of June 2012, I announce to you the rebirth of that son. I formerly known as agbogunleri, Olamide Jubril make this declaration that forthwith; I should be addressed as OLANREWAJU, OLAMIDE JUBRIL.

Welcome to the New World Order!

Joobreel

A robot should do

Need me a robot

See, free that talk. There are things I know I can do very well. No be for mouth. One of them is looking good. I sometimes look pretty.  (That ‘pretty’ word can earn me 14 years o). But seriously, from ankara to atiku, lace to linen, guinea to batik (most of them are aso-ebi anyways) or getting some super-cool materials for regular shirts, non-conventional tops and the likes; all there is to be done is for either Samson, Erons, Frank, Mikky or Quddus to carve them. These guys must pay for this advert.
And if it’s to 'combinason' (Jenifa's style) Polos or tees with denims or pants, I hail myself. A special thanks to my fashion and style consultant. #winks. Flipping through the pages of magazines is not beans. And even when I go like the new CBN policy- cashless, I still always appear like a Nigerian Senator. Ooshe!
Here is the real deal not legend stout o, one of the prices to pay is getting those clothes back to shape after use. It’s big a price and it’s getting to me real good. I got home yesterday night and had to take some clothes off the line that I left for drying after washing. Washing is no biggy as Oyinbo in their numerous ways have made it easier. But ironing those clothes? Chai! Na there wahala de o.

As I dropped the new off-the-line clothes on a bed in the room where I left the previous ones, it occurred clearly to me that ironing is not my hobby at all. Singlets, boxer’s shorts, shirts, denims, pants, name them; all of them 'yapa' on top the bed. Already washed, not yet ironed. Some date as far back as 3 weeks.

 Since the white people didn't do ironing machine, an ironing robot is all I desire. So if you have the means, please buy me one. And mind you, I will only accept the one that is battery-powered because I use a PAYGO NEPA meter. If the minister of power fit de import energy-saving bulbs, who I be to de consume light anyhow? Another alternative is for you to direct me to someone that irons only. But that too will cost me.
Hmm, got it! I will dedicate this Saturday for ironing all these clothes. Yes! That's the best thing to do. But that day happens to be my birthday. That means no groove, no party, no drinks, no food, just ironing. Therefore if in your mind, you (Stanley, Tutuola, Oyin, Okey, Seun, Alero, Tobi etc) have been thinking how it is going down, just forget it.
It’s ironing all the way. Come over to my place and let’s iron.
Hehehe
Joobreel