Its My Take, Not Yours

I used to think that ‘happiness is a choice not a gift’. I believed I could choose to be happy or not. I usually think I could practically choose my mood. I was in charge of my emotions or so I thought. I could just pick when to be sad, jumpy, happy, excited, angry, sloppy, sentimental, mushy etc. I was damn wrong. I was so wrong that I scored zero percent.

I ‘m thinking, how happy can I be seeing a close friend dying of a terminal disease? How happy can you be getting to the market and seeing a mad woman who you knew when she was sane? How would you explain your happiness when you just witnessed a primary school pupil being hit by a runaway bus driver? These invariably mean that we most times can dictate our emotions, the environment and events decide a larger part.

I think what we can choose is either to continue in our present emotional state or not. So I will paraphrase – ‘remaining happy is a choice, not a gift’

And seriously if I want to get over any negative emotion, I just slam the earphones on and listen to great music. It works for me. It takes my mind of that negativity and before I know it, I am up and kicking again. But music can’t do some things. It only relieves me for the moment and later these nonsense, irritating, grotesque, bizarre, saddening thoughts re-converge and make my brain their dwelling place. So this best I do is to completely obliterate them.

See, to totally eradicate these bullshits, you have to be firm with your decisions. You have to be more than aware; you must acknowledge you are responsible for some certain chains of event in your life. Inasmuch as God wants us to do His will, He also gave the liberty to choose. If you fucking choose to live with dirt, garbage, despair, fear; be fully prepared for the outcome.

If you permit people’s saying and decisions to rule the affairs of your life, then all the best. In other words, if you please ‘them’ at our peril, I can only wish you well.

What has forgiveness got to do with this? Why can’t I forgive to be happy?

I swiftly forgive. Like in minutes, I forgive but the thing is I have a super-duper memory. I hardly forget. How do you expect me to forget that you slept with my girlfriend? I will forgive the two of you but be rest assured that I can’t forget. And the moment I can’t forget, your every day presence in my vicinity will be killing. So to be happy, I better not see the friend or girlfriend. Case settled. You will adjudge me a dummy if I forget such a dastardly event. Some people and occurrences will just suck happiness out your life and the best you can do is to avoid such people.

If their presence suck your energy rather than refresh you, please get the broom and sweep them off. How well have they made their lives beautiful before coming to decide mine?

 I have the strength to control a minute part of my emotions and I will do that without fear or favor. Don’t dictate the pace of my life for me, please fuck off!

Joobreel

I am Nigeria's Problem

With heaviness of heart and yet gratitude to my conscience that pricks me, I solemnly admit that I am responsible for the chaos in Nigeria today. I agree in totality to any punishment that should be meted on me. I either have to be jailed for the atrocities I have committed (if you will be merciful enough) or just shoot me with a pump-action in the head so that I will die that Nigeria might be great.  I have sinned against man and God. I have made Nigeria lesser than what it is supposed to be.

Nigeria (named in 1914 by Lord Luggard) from my perspective is ‘a geographical space located in a particular part of the earth that houses a particular set of people’. This means that ‘a set of people’ existed before the existence of ‘Nigeria’. In other words, the people make up Nigeria, not Nigeria making up the people. Ehen now, it consequently means that I am responsible for what Nigeria becomes as Nigeria is just a space- a non-living thing.

 The speed at which I point accusing finger at others baffles me sef. I am quick to judge the president for being clueless, Lilly-livered, weak, dumb, insensitive, corrupt, stupid, etc. I can easily write on facebook, twitter and the likes, about how former Presidents stole money, how the senate president takes home N600million annually, how the speaker misappropriated N40billion, how the Governors embezzle state funds, how a chairman this, how a house of rep member that. Effortlessly, I can list the names of corrupt politicians in this Nigeria of ours - it would be a painless endeavor. All these politicians are responsible for what Nigeria is today. Isn’t that the nationwide acceptable fact?

It is convenient to become an opposition (that’s the trending word towards 2015) when I fall out of favor of those that are ‘eating’ the money. ‘The voice of the oppressed’, ‘the make Nigeria group’, ‘face of the new Nigeria’ and many other slogans emanate from those that were initially with the looters of the nation treasury but have been booted out. Or how do we explain the case of a former FCT minister that has suddenly become an opposition – ‘a certified Ruffler of Feathers’ whose view about Nigeria for 50 years suddenly changed? Is it that he was not part of the politicians during the 50 years of existence of the Nigerian State? Some even find it very leisurely to move from the opposition to the supporting side. This is the case of a super writer, a shrewd editor, a social critic, the voice of the people who overnight became the town crier for the corrupt persons he initially condemned. (Like I said earlier, I am good at pointing accusing fingers. I just pointed my rotten fingers at two ‘patriots’ of Nigeria).

In essence, any political office holder especially those that have been around for long should be killed. That’s what we all advocate for. Revolution! They must all die. They have plunged this nation into disaster. They have looted the treasury. They are borrowing money from World Bank only to siphon them into private accounts. They are thieves, rogues, criminals, and crooks, name all the synonyms.

Before we revolt, is the Pastor of my church that collects tithes and offerings without knowing the source of the money a politician? Is my project supervisor in the University that expects me to buy him N1000 credit before he attends to me a politician? Is my gateman that ought to pay N10000 for PHCN pre-paid bill but that bought N8500 worth of credit a politician? Is the civil servant that earns 80k monthly and has no other job but throws a birthday bash of N4million a politician? Is the boss that collects 900k monthly as fees for his staff from clients but pays that same staff 70k as salary a politician? Is the bus-conductor that short-changed you a politician? Is the sales person that sells products at rate higher than the company’s price and diverts the loot a politician? Is the film producer that dupes the marketer that drops money for film production a politician? Is that gala seller that sold gala and gave you N20 change instead of N50 because it was in the dark a politician? Is that plumber that buys a tap at N3800 instead of N1500 a politician? Is your colleague that sleeps at a friend’s place when he went on an official assignment at Port Harcourt and comes back to Lagos with N20k per night hotel receipt a politician? Yet we shout that the politicians are the bane of Nigeria.

Is the boyfriend that tricks her girlfriend to collect money from her a politician? Is the lady that sleeps with old men for cash a politician? Is the father that lies he doesn’t have money but sleeps and spends money on little girls a politician? Is the woman in charge of verification of qualified candidates for scholarship that puts unqualified friends and family members as beneficiaries a politician? Is the man that buys special JAMB form for his child a politician? Is the driver that hikes transport fare at rush hour a politician? Is the fuel attendant at the gas station that dispensed the wrong quantity of fuel a politician?

The common man on the street of Nigeria is Nigeria’s greatest problem. I am Nigeria’s problem. If the politicians decide to do things the ways they know best, must I follow suit? Must I assist them in plunging Nigeria into greater darkness? Must I be absent from work and tell my boss I am ill? Must I lie to my parents that I need some materials in school when I don’t?  Must I as a driver buy 45litres fuel and tell my boss I bought 55litres? The ‘must I’ list is endless.

What are we now saying? There is no Nigeria without Nigerians? Nigeria is made up individual Nigerians. You and I are microcosms of the geographical space called Nigeria. It is what each and every one of us does that makes up the sum total of the acclaimed corruption in Nigeria. Little wrong things we do in our homes, offices, schools, workshops, religious centers, markets are responsible for the state we find this Nation. We should cease the accusations and counter-accusations.

Not until you truthfully admit that you as an individual contribute to the mess on ground, then Nigeria will never move forward. You might want to console yourself that the N1k you maneuvered is infinitesimal compared to what the politicians do. But if 20million Nigerians do that daily like you do, tell me how large the amount we have collectively stolen from Nigeria. Till you accept that you are culpable in your little ways; till we accept that our greed, self-indulgence, materialism, gluttony, insatiability and self-seeking acts are contributing to the decadence of Nigeria;   we will always remain a failed nation.

Stop pointing fingers and admit you are Nigeria’s greatest enemy.

Joobreel