10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go

Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.Here are ten signs it’s time to let go:1.        Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else.  It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not.  Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.

2.       A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.

3.       You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us.  We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.  That’s what love is all about – freedom.  However, the end of love is not the end of life.  It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.  If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it.  Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

4.       An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. – Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance.  It’s about what you live for.  It’s about what defines you.  It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique.  It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly.  It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.  People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever.  But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.

5.        Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results - a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.  Either way there’s a positive outcome.  Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.  In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you.  And trust me; some people will totally surprise you.

6.       Someone continuously overlooks your worth. – Know your worth!  When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.  There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there.  Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them.  Let them leave your life quietly.  Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on.  We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do.  Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

7.        You are never given a chance to speak your mind. – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it.  Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets.  Life is not about making others happy.  Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.

8.       You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness. – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Know when to close the account.  It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

9.       You truly dislike your current situation, routine, job, etc. – It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate.  Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.  The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.  It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.

10.     You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.  Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.  After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.  So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.  Read The Power of Now.

And the one thing you should never let go of is hope.  Remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward.  Someday all the pieces will come together.  Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated.  And you will look back at the times that have passed, smile, and ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?” http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/04/02/10-signs-its-time-to-let-go/

Before the Wedding Planner

If you are married, I guess your cross has been carried already so this isn’t for you. If you have a good partner, you will be happy and successful. If you have a bad one, the best you can be in your lifetime is a philosopher. For those that are still waiting to put on the smallest handcuff, follow me.

A day will come when you will have to answer the questions ‘what will I wear?’ ‘Who will be invited?’ ‘What venue is the ideal?’ ‘What meals will be served?’ ‘What will the cake look like?’ ‘How big will the party be?’ and many others like that. Then you will either enquire from those that have the handcuffs on, consult with your parents or just give a wedding planner ‘the call’.

Before you make that call, have you ever asked yourself why you want to get married? At what point did you conclude that marriage is the next big thing? What exactly informed your decision to get married? When did it cross your mind that you can get married to your partner? Who made the decision, was it you and your partner or you guys’ parents? Is s(he) ideal for you? What is your motive for getting married?

Could it be for financial reasons? You think or know he is capable of catering for your all ‘spending’? Was it because you know she is an independent woman who can take care of herself. Maybe his/her parents are financially capable and they won’t be burdens on you. Could it be because your future is secured with him/her? Could it be for gold-digging? Well, who wants to suffer these days? Carry on my friend; call the wedding planner right away.

Could it be because you are under pressure? You are too old not to be married? Almost all your colleagues and friends are having their kids? Is it because all your cousins’ children are calling you aunt or uncle? Seriously, you might just want to prove to your ex that dumped you or that you dumped that you are capable of getting married. You have been called names and you just want people to know that nothing is wrong with you? Who doesn’t want to do good things that others are doing anyways? Please, make the call now.

Are you in a pity-relationship? I understand. You guys have dated for over several years so it just has to end well. He has really tried for you when you were nothing. She collected her parents’ money to send you through school so you need to compensate her. You will appear mean if you decide to quit even when you are not feeling the whole thing again. What will people say when they hear you are guys are no more together despite what you have been through together? Yes o! It’s not good to be wicked. Besides, people’s opinions do matter yea? So make the appointment with the wedding planner.

Oh! She is your baby-mama? He is the father of your child. You guys need to get married for the sake of the child? You don’t really want to get pregnant but now you don’t know if any man would want to get married to an ‘after one’ so you will stick with him despite the fact that it’s glaring he doesn’t love you? You love your baby so much you won’t want another woman to maltreat your child. So you will put up with her though she is not what you really desire? Truly, it won’t be nice if you people let the child suffer for your mistakes so for the child, call the planner.

Were you betrothed to each other? Your coming together is as a result of a pact reached by your parents? They feel the families are close and a marital bond will make it stronger? They must unite the two of you so that the family business will continue and the wealth still within the circle? And the truth is you don’t really like this other person. But you need to honor your father and mother right? It’s a commandment to do so. So you don’t have a choice se? Make the call straight away.

Are you getting married because you need to give birth? If not that you need a legitimate biological child to carry on with the family name, you wouldn’t want to get married. Or you just want to marry for marrying sake? There are some privileges that won’t be accrued to you if you don’t get married? Please get married by force o. you need to fulfill your desire.

There are a million and one reasons why the wedding planner must be called but are the reasons genuine? Are the reasons really true? Have you ever thought if you could forever pitch your tent with your partner even if situation changes? Are you sincerely happy from the depth of your heart when you people are together alone? Are you having a beautiful relationship or just coping with him or her? Do you trust him at all? Has that crazy doubt for whatever reason, ever raced through your mind yet you still want to stick? Are your moves really you or just borne out of anxiety, fear or desperation?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not against you getting married. A tweet – ‘if you pay your girlfriend an unexpected visit and she doesn’t fidget when you are fiddling with her BB…call a wedding planner’- inspired this. What if that girlfriend of yours has another phone? What if your boyfriend’s other girlfriends know when to call and when not to call him? What if her boyfriends’ contacts are stored as female names? What if those incriminating chats are never left undeleted a second after discussion? What if…?

Am I afraid? No! I am just worried. Worried why marriages of six months are falling and that of 60years are still standing. I am uneasy why homes of less than five years are collapsing. I am bothered why even the marriages of our so called religious leaders who are supposed to be our guides are failing. I am disturbed because of a woman that loved her husband is now cheating. I am perturbed because some married men are no longer eager to go home after work. I am confused because just less than a year after making that vow, you are (still) sleeping with your colleague(s). I am flustered because your friend knows more about you than your husband (wife). There is commotion in my head because I can’t seem to place what went wrong after the wedding planner left.

You don’t need to be an expert to know some things. It’s just common sense. You should know marriage shouldn’t be based on sentiment. It should never be out of desperation. Peer or family pressure shouldn’t be a reason why we must get married. You should at this age know it will be the costliest mistake to hang-in based on pity. Because she is my first love or I her first love should never be a reason for holding on to what is apparently wrong. We shouldn’t go gold-digging, ‘silver-mining’ or ‘diamond-seeking’ as reasons for calling the wedding planner. We must ensure that our reasons are based on genuine concern, care and love for all the parties involved. The purpose of marriage shouldn’t be self-serving.

Believe me, there is a place of God in choosing right. Prayer is key, Grace is vital and Favor is essential.

Joobreel