Its My Take, Not Yours

I used to think that ‘happiness is a choice not a gift’. I believed I could choose to be happy or not. I usually think I could practically choose my mood. I was in charge of my emotions or so I thought. I could just pick when to be sad, jumpy, happy, excited, angry, sloppy, sentimental, mushy etc. I was damn wrong. I was so wrong that I scored zero percent.

I ‘m thinking, how happy can I be seeing a close friend dying of a terminal disease? How happy can you be getting to the market and seeing a mad woman who you knew when she was sane? How would you explain your happiness when you just witnessed a primary school pupil being hit by a runaway bus driver? These invariably mean that we most times can dictate our emotions, the environment and events decide a larger part.

I think what we can choose is either to continue in our present emotional state or not. So I will paraphrase – ‘remaining happy is a choice, not a gift’

And seriously if I want to get over any negative emotion, I just slam the earphones on and listen to great music. It works for me. It takes my mind of that negativity and before I know it, I am up and kicking again. But music can’t do some things. It only relieves me for the moment and later these nonsense, irritating, grotesque, bizarre, saddening thoughts re-converge and make my brain their dwelling place. So this best I do is to completely obliterate them.

See, to totally eradicate these bullshits, you have to be firm with your decisions. You have to be more than aware; you must acknowledge you are responsible for some certain chains of event in your life. Inasmuch as God wants us to do His will, He also gave the liberty to choose. If you fucking choose to live with dirt, garbage, despair, fear; be fully prepared for the outcome.

If you permit people’s saying and decisions to rule the affairs of your life, then all the best. In other words, if you please ‘them’ at our peril, I can only wish you well.

What has forgiveness got to do with this? Why can’t I forgive to be happy?

I swiftly forgive. Like in minutes, I forgive but the thing is I have a super-duper memory. I hardly forget. How do you expect me to forget that you slept with my girlfriend? I will forgive the two of you but be rest assured that I can’t forget. And the moment I can’t forget, your every day presence in my vicinity will be killing. So to be happy, I better not see the friend or girlfriend. Case settled. You will adjudge me a dummy if I forget such a dastardly event. Some people and occurrences will just suck happiness out your life and the best you can do is to avoid such people.

If their presence suck your energy rather than refresh you, please get the broom and sweep them off. How well have they made their lives beautiful before coming to decide mine?

 I have the strength to control a minute part of my emotions and I will do that without fear or favor. Don’t dictate the pace of my life for me, please fuck off!

Joobreel