Friday, 8 June 2012

My Death


Let me tell you about the day I died. I was in a plane crash. I remember the last few minutes so well.  Maybe not so well  because there was so much pandemonium in that small space. At first I thought it was the usual turbulence except it wasn’t. Do you think the crew alerted us to the imminent danger? Not until my head hit the air vent did it dawn on me that we were going down.

Let me tell you about the day a plane crashed into our building. We were watching a soap opera that Sunday evening. We were all tired because the day before was my 10th birthday and we’d had a party. Of course everyone was at home. My only solace was that we didn’t see or hear anything. We just died.

Did I tell you what I was doing when that big plane crashed into our street? Well, nothing interesting. I’d just come out with my bag of corn and I was setting up my fire place. I’d made good sales the day before and believed God for a better day. I remember thinking, "Finally, Tochi will have the money for that hand-out she said was so urgent."

I want you to believe me when I tell you that I survived a plane crash. Yes I survived the impact of the crash and spent 10 minutes trying to smash the window. I succeeded in smashing the first but as I geared up to hit the second, I heard the explosion. I increased my effort but the resulting smoke enveloped me. I remember giving in - thinking how close I came to escape.

The day I died, I remember thinking just before the plane hit that busy street, the “air crash investigation” episode I’d seen the previous night. I wondered how this crash would be investigated. Will it be? I wondered who the producers will cast in the reconstruction, should there be one. Who would play John, my co-pilot and Nick, the engineer?
Lucas Togan (@LTSPARK)

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Selling the Presidential Jets


Mrs. Joyce Banda of Malawi is the second female president in africa. I didnt like her for supporting same sex marriage in order to accrue cheap foreign aids from Western Nations.

Now I am having a change of mind when she decided to sell the country's only presidential jet and 60 Mercedes Limousines in the president's fleet. She flew to the Queen's Jubilee celebration in a British Airways plane. The presidential jet has an annual running cost of about E220,000. This is a measure she has taken to overturn the bad decisions of previous government.

The president of Nigeria has 11 private jets. ( what is 11 sef when a pastor has 4?) He met 9 on ground and bought 2 more. The cost of running these luxury air buses we would never know. If in Malawi they spend that much, what will be said of Nigeria where our president, first lady and the others travel like they are moving from Lekki to Victoria Island?

My questions are these. Is it possible for Mr. president to sell 10 of those things at least he can use just 1 at a time? Oh! The wife will use 1, the senate president 1, the PDP chairman 1, the two first children 1 each, special adviser will share 1... the lost is endless.
If the prime minister of Britain doesn't have a private jet and travels in commercial airlines, why cant our politicians do same?
If public servants of this nation stop taking chartered/private flights especially for their local travels, will the state of our aviation industry be like this?
Would there be incessant plane crashes if the first family and their numerous accolades take public flights?

 The aviation minister said the reports of the SOSOLISO and ADC airlines crashes that happened eons ago are ready but pending approval before it can be released. Help me to ask her 'when is the earliest possible time to expect the report of the DANA crash'? When?
Joobreel

Choice

What has already happened before is not what will happen next. Because right now, you have the opportunity to change direction.

If you’re moving in a positive and fruitful direction, you can choose to keep going that way, and even to accelerate your progress. Or, if you’ve experienced difficulty and disappointment in the past, this is your time to make a change.

When you focus on what’s already happened, it can be easy to feel permanently stuck in a bad place. So focus instead on the fact that you can, right now, choose a more positive direction.

Today is a new day, and it is your day to live in the best way you can imagine. It is your day to move in precisely the direction you choose.

Though rising above a difficult past will require great effort and commitment on your part, you certainly can do it. And there’s no better way to spend your time than making your way forward and permanently locking your disappointments in the past.

The disappointments of the past will begin to fade away as soon as you let go of them. Let go, look forward, and know that you can make this next day the best one yet ... Ralph

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

The too many roaches in my apartment


These things don tire me o. How would I explain killing an average of five cockroaches in my apartment weekly? Which mouth I wan take talk am? I need help ASAP!

How on earth did these nonsense things find their ways into a newly finished flat in a newly completed building? Were they sent? Abi na me be there papa ni? What exactly are they looking for because I don’t have crumbs of foods littering the house? Every part of the house is always squeaky-clean. And when I say squeaky-clean, I am damn serious. Yet these flying nuisances display themselves like they own the place.

I have used a number of naija-made insecticides (make I no yarn names go fall some companies hand) all to no avail. I consoled myself that probably all the insecticides in my area are fakes. The things got to me so much I cried out. Then I realized it wasn’t just me, it’s a general problem. My neighbors are having a fair dose of theirs too .I laff a big laff wen dem tell me their own tori.

We concluded we would fumigate the whole compound and the apartments which we did. We consulted one of the numerous supposed fumigators that have their phone numbers written boldly on most walls on the streets of Lagos (You definitely know those numbers now). Na lie, the ting no work. So we called him that we still see roaches. He said the ‘nest’ of the roaches would definitely be from the foundation or inside the roof of the building. That is why they didn't all die. Na so the story end!

So if you come to my house for whatsoever ever reason and cockroaches try to kiss you or compete for chairs, just chill. They are my flat mates for now. Since I have tried all I could and I can’t  ‘uproot’ my landlord’s house, neither can I dismantle nor go into the roof to look for their source, you will have to bear with me. I am not giving up on the fight though. If you please have any solution to this dilemma of mine, kindly proffer it. I am not tired to keep fighting them. Not now! Not Never!
It looks like joke but a no dey joke o. I need answers fast. #crying

Joobreel

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Still on the matter...

The following unedited chat ensued after my a big brother of mine read the blog. could lack of adeqaute mentorship be the bane of Mr President's trouble. Peruse through the BB chat and make contributions.
lets go
Participants:
-------------
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_, PP

Messages:
---------
PP:
I think he likes goin by the book
PP:
He sometimes needs to use his executive powers
PP:
In that way he will probably annoy some people
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
But he has never for once used the power he possesses? Reason y som ppl think he is weak
PP:
Forcing some of the pple bankrolling the chaos to loose their cool
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
But sir, shd he keep being docile despite knowing the culprits behind the chaos and turmoil  the nation is. Going through?
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Because he doesn't want to roughen some pples feathers?
PP:
Yeah
PP:
That's y I feel he was not well schooled in the art of leadership
PP:
I think he severed relationship too early with his political godfathers
PP:
Na soo
PP:
I know he has gud intentions for nigeria
PP:
But nig needs pple like obj
PP:
Abacha and their likes
PP:
Unorthodox leaders
PP:
Jonathan is not one
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Hmmm. Word!
PP:
The matter is complicated further by the fact that he is not a hausa nor of muslim extraction
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Then he shd just keep his mute come 2015 then
PP:
I hope so too
PP:
Or alternatively I hope a better candidate emerges
PP:
Someone with strength of character
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
But. We. Have had muslim and hausa leaders now, then didn't do much good either
PP:
We had less crisis as well
PP:
So while the economy or standard of livin was suffering, people were safe
PP:
So there was no widespread anger against the president
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
So that's d game hausas are playing against our toothless president.  neva saw things this way. Hmmm!
PP:
I think jonathan to me now seems to be the most unpopular president in nigerian history
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
 think so too. He has been rated worse than abacha sef
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
His crime now is because he is not well grounded in nigerian politics.  pity d guy
PP:
Boko haram is not a sy problem
PP:
Its a religious n political issue
PP:
Wait until one prominent hausa man is killed
PP:
Boko haram will cease that day
PP:
Of course
PP:
He has no ideology
PP:
Abacha was harsh
PP:
He needed to keep obj on board for a longer period
PP:
Yeah
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
He was too much in a hurry to show what he can do on his own. He screwed up! If Obj is still wt him, he will have faired beta dan dis
PP:
He shd have made him more relevant
PP:
So he could ride on his experience n political clout
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Hmmm!
PP:
Most likely
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Maybe he wanted to quickly dissociate from Obj cos pple he think he was just going to be a puppet while obj ll be running d country from behind.
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
He wanted to prove a point.
PP:
Yeah
PP:
We aLl need mentors
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Yeah! We really do need dem. Thanks for ur insight.
PP:
He could have done more smoothly but maintain d link
PP:
Lol
PP:
It was nice
PP:
Gistin wit ya man
PP:
Thanks to bb
PP:
:)
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
U r welcome  sir;

Is my president really weak?



Who is Goodluck Jonathan? Is he truly Just On National Assignment To Harm All Nigerians as some flickers from some quarters have tagged him? Could a 'man- without- shoes' when he was campaigning to be president aims be to harm us in this our nation Nigeria? Or has he changed now that he has hundreds of them? Could it be that he has become insensitive to the plights of the common man because he claimed to be a common man like us when he was campaigning rigorously after ascending to the position of the Acting President when his predecessor died in office? Could it just be by chance that my president is being continuously ill-advised by those that surround him or some of the members of his workforce are really plotting his downfall? Are the numerous special advisers and assistants that orchestrate all his actions be the culprits behind the mishaps he dishes to the citizenry?
 How about the ‘northern powers’ that promised to make Nigeria ungovernable for him, are they the ones at work? Are they the drummers behind the shameful dance of our president? I don't want to believe they are responsible for the numerous bombings and kidnaps just in the name of making the nation difficult to run. 'Naija' must really be in the waters with turbulent waves if these power mongers are the culprit behind the wide-spread hardship in this nation.
My president once said he knows these people. He admitted the trouble-makers are Nigerians with known faces. He openly confessed these evil perpetrators live among us. What then is Goodluck Jonathan waiting for to arrest this situation? Can’t he apprehend these elements of discord? Can’t GEJ use all his machineries as the most powerful president in the world (at least some referred to him as that during the fuel-subsidy saga) to bring these supposed ‘enemies of his tenure’ to book? What is the Nigerian Police Force for, receiving bribes and handouts from motorists? No! They are supposed to work the works for which they have been called for. We have the States Secrets Service Agents, are they for decorations. Maybe these people are more powerful to be toyed with. Maybe they are too big for our SSS and Police. Or are these trouble-fomenting northern politicians just one of our propaganda?

Wait a minute; is Mr. Goodluck really in charge of the affairs of this nation Nigeria? Am I thinking that someone that found himself by chance at helms of affairs of African most populous country isn’t a good politician?  Maybe not being a super-politician was the origin of his problems. Could it be that he is just adrift and not in control of the happenings around him? Has he left his primary duty as the Chief Security Officer to the supposed security chiefs he has. Has Mr. Ebele resigned to faith that he is incapable to running this country and just waiting for his tenure to elapse? Who knows? My mind is running amok over these disturbing questions that await answers.

Could the saying that ‘Nigeria is too complex for him to handle’ be true? Has the system so collapsed that it can’t be revamped by mere good luck? Has the state of the nation so degenerated that it will take a stronger-willed person to restore Nigeria to her past glory?  Could it be that my president is just taking his time, waiting for the right time to player his joker?



These amongst many other questions bother me when I think about this big ship – Nigeria. And when a ship sinks, the captain is held responsible.
Mr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has been tagged ‘weak’ when he cried at the scene of the Dana Crash that occurred in Lagos where 153 persons died. So I am beginning to wonder, if my president is really weak? Is he strong enough to steer this ship to shore safely? Time will tell.
Joobreel

Monday, 4 June 2012

My first blog

Welcome to my blogspot.
Like the title depicts, this will be my first ever blog. I am so honoured you are viewing this. Feel free to make comments on any of my blogs. We ll all enjoy scintillating gists from across the world. Entertainment, politics, religious, educational, gossips... name them. We ll share them here.
This is me if you care to see what i look like...
Enjoy.
Joobreel