Its My Take, Not Yours

I used to think that ‘happiness is a choice not a gift’. I believed I could choose to be happy or not. I usually think I could practically choose my mood. I was in charge of my emotions or so I thought. I could just pick when to be sad, jumpy, happy, excited, angry, sloppy, sentimental, mushy etc. I was damn wrong. I was so wrong that I scored zero percent.

I ‘m thinking, how happy can I be seeing a close friend dying of a terminal disease? How happy can you be getting to the market and seeing a mad woman who you knew when she was sane? How would you explain your happiness when you just witnessed a primary school pupil being hit by a runaway bus driver? These invariably mean that we most times can dictate our emotions, the environment and events decide a larger part.

I think what we can choose is either to continue in our present emotional state or not. So I will paraphrase – ‘remaining happy is a choice, not a gift’

And seriously if I want to get over any negative emotion, I just slam the earphones on and listen to great music. It works for me. It takes my mind of that negativity and before I know it, I am up and kicking again. But music can’t do some things. It only relieves me for the moment and later these nonsense, irritating, grotesque, bizarre, saddening thoughts re-converge and make my brain their dwelling place. So this best I do is to completely obliterate them.

See, to totally eradicate these bullshits, you have to be firm with your decisions. You have to be more than aware; you must acknowledge you are responsible for some certain chains of event in your life. Inasmuch as God wants us to do His will, He also gave the liberty to choose. If you fucking choose to live with dirt, garbage, despair, fear; be fully prepared for the outcome.

If you permit people’s saying and decisions to rule the affairs of your life, then all the best. In other words, if you please ‘them’ at our peril, I can only wish you well.

What has forgiveness got to do with this? Why can’t I forgive to be happy?

I swiftly forgive. Like in minutes, I forgive but the thing is I have a super-duper memory. I hardly forget. How do you expect me to forget that you slept with my girlfriend? I will forgive the two of you but be rest assured that I can’t forget. And the moment I can’t forget, your every day presence in my vicinity will be killing. So to be happy, I better not see the friend or girlfriend. Case settled. You will adjudge me a dummy if I forget such a dastardly event. Some people and occurrences will just suck happiness out your life and the best you can do is to avoid such people.

If their presence suck your energy rather than refresh you, please get the broom and sweep them off. How well have they made their lives beautiful before coming to decide mine?

 I have the strength to control a minute part of my emotions and I will do that without fear or favor. Don’t dictate the pace of my life for me, please fuck off!

Joobreel

I am Nigeria's Problem

With heaviness of heart and yet gratitude to my conscience that pricks me, I solemnly admit that I am responsible for the chaos in Nigeria today. I agree in totality to any punishment that should be meted on me. I either have to be jailed for the atrocities I have committed (if you will be merciful enough) or just shoot me with a pump-action in the head so that I will die that Nigeria might be great.  I have sinned against man and God. I have made Nigeria lesser than what it is supposed to be.

Nigeria (named in 1914 by Lord Luggard) from my perspective is ‘a geographical space located in a particular part of the earth that houses a particular set of people’. This means that ‘a set of people’ existed before the existence of ‘Nigeria’. In other words, the people make up Nigeria, not Nigeria making up the people. Ehen now, it consequently means that I am responsible for what Nigeria becomes as Nigeria is just a space- a non-living thing.

 The speed at which I point accusing finger at others baffles me sef. I am quick to judge the president for being clueless, Lilly-livered, weak, dumb, insensitive, corrupt, stupid, etc. I can easily write on facebook, twitter and the likes, about how former Presidents stole money, how the senate president takes home N600million annually, how the speaker misappropriated N40billion, how the Governors embezzle state funds, how a chairman this, how a house of rep member that. Effortlessly, I can list the names of corrupt politicians in this Nigeria of ours - it would be a painless endeavor. All these politicians are responsible for what Nigeria is today. Isn’t that the nationwide acceptable fact?

It is convenient to become an opposition (that’s the trending word towards 2015) when I fall out of favor of those that are ‘eating’ the money. ‘The voice of the oppressed’, ‘the make Nigeria group’, ‘face of the new Nigeria’ and many other slogans emanate from those that were initially with the looters of the nation treasury but have been booted out. Or how do we explain the case of a former FCT minister that has suddenly become an opposition – ‘a certified Ruffler of Feathers’ whose view about Nigeria for 50 years suddenly changed? Is it that he was not part of the politicians during the 50 years of existence of the Nigerian State? Some even find it very leisurely to move from the opposition to the supporting side. This is the case of a super writer, a shrewd editor, a social critic, the voice of the people who overnight became the town crier for the corrupt persons he initially condemned. (Like I said earlier, I am good at pointing accusing fingers. I just pointed my rotten fingers at two ‘patriots’ of Nigeria).

In essence, any political office holder especially those that have been around for long should be killed. That’s what we all advocate for. Revolution! They must all die. They have plunged this nation into disaster. They have looted the treasury. They are borrowing money from World Bank only to siphon them into private accounts. They are thieves, rogues, criminals, and crooks, name all the synonyms.

Before we revolt, is the Pastor of my church that collects tithes and offerings without knowing the source of the money a politician? Is my project supervisor in the University that expects me to buy him N1000 credit before he attends to me a politician? Is my gateman that ought to pay N10000 for PHCN pre-paid bill but that bought N8500 worth of credit a politician? Is the civil servant that earns 80k monthly and has no other job but throws a birthday bash of N4million a politician? Is the boss that collects 900k monthly as fees for his staff from clients but pays that same staff 70k as salary a politician? Is the bus-conductor that short-changed you a politician? Is the sales person that sells products at rate higher than the company’s price and diverts the loot a politician? Is the film producer that dupes the marketer that drops money for film production a politician? Is that gala seller that sold gala and gave you N20 change instead of N50 because it was in the dark a politician? Is that plumber that buys a tap at N3800 instead of N1500 a politician? Is your colleague that sleeps at a friend’s place when he went on an official assignment at Port Harcourt and comes back to Lagos with N20k per night hotel receipt a politician? Yet we shout that the politicians are the bane of Nigeria.

Is the boyfriend that tricks her girlfriend to collect money from her a politician? Is the lady that sleeps with old men for cash a politician? Is the father that lies he doesn’t have money but sleeps and spends money on little girls a politician? Is the woman in charge of verification of qualified candidates for scholarship that puts unqualified friends and family members as beneficiaries a politician? Is the man that buys special JAMB form for his child a politician? Is the driver that hikes transport fare at rush hour a politician? Is the fuel attendant at the gas station that dispensed the wrong quantity of fuel a politician?

The common man on the street of Nigeria is Nigeria’s greatest problem. I am Nigeria’s problem. If the politicians decide to do things the ways they know best, must I follow suit? Must I assist them in plunging Nigeria into greater darkness? Must I be absent from work and tell my boss I am ill? Must I lie to my parents that I need some materials in school when I don’t?  Must I as a driver buy 45litres fuel and tell my boss I bought 55litres? The ‘must I’ list is endless.

What are we now saying? There is no Nigeria without Nigerians? Nigeria is made up individual Nigerians. You and I are microcosms of the geographical space called Nigeria. It is what each and every one of us does that makes up the sum total of the acclaimed corruption in Nigeria. Little wrong things we do in our homes, offices, schools, workshops, religious centers, markets are responsible for the state we find this Nation. We should cease the accusations and counter-accusations.

Not until you truthfully admit that you as an individual contribute to the mess on ground, then Nigeria will never move forward. You might want to console yourself that the N1k you maneuvered is infinitesimal compared to what the politicians do. But if 20million Nigerians do that daily like you do, tell me how large the amount we have collectively stolen from Nigeria. Till you accept that you are culpable in your little ways; till we accept that our greed, self-indulgence, materialism, gluttony, insatiability and self-seeking acts are contributing to the decadence of Nigeria;   we will always remain a failed nation.

Stop pointing fingers and admit you are Nigeria’s greatest enemy.

Joobreel

Before the Wedding Planner

If you are married, I guess your cross has been carried already so this isn’t for you. If you have a good partner, you will be happy and successful. If you have a bad one, the best you can be in your lifetime is a philosopher. For those that are still waiting to put on the smallest handcuff, follow me.

A day will come when you will have to answer the questions ‘what will I wear?’ ‘Who will be invited?’ ‘What venue is the ideal?’ ‘What meals will be served?’ ‘What will the cake look like?’ ‘How big will the party be?’ and many others like that. Then you will either enquire from those that have the handcuffs on, consult with your parents or just give a wedding planner ‘the call’.

Before you make that call, have you ever asked yourself why you want to get married? At what point did you conclude that marriage is the next big thing? What exactly informed your decision to get married? When did it cross your mind that you can get married to your partner? Who made the decision, was it you and your partner or you guys’ parents? Is s(he) ideal for you? What is your motive for getting married?

Could it be for financial reasons? You think or know he is capable of catering for your all ‘spending’? Was it because you know she is an independent woman who can take care of herself. Maybe his/her parents are financially capable and they won’t be burdens on you. Could it be because your future is secured with him/her? Could it be for gold-digging? Well, who wants to suffer these days? Carry on my friend; call the wedding planner right away.

Could it be because you are under pressure? You are too old not to be married? Almost all your colleagues and friends are having their kids? Is it because all your cousins’ children are calling you aunt or uncle? Seriously, you might just want to prove to your ex that dumped you or that you dumped that you are capable of getting married. You have been called names and you just want people to know that nothing is wrong with you? Who doesn’t want to do good things that others are doing anyways? Please, make the call now.

Are you in a pity-relationship? I understand. You guys have dated for over several years so it just has to end well. He has really tried for you when you were nothing. She collected her parents’ money to send you through school so you need to compensate her. You will appear mean if you decide to quit even when you are not feeling the whole thing again. What will people say when they hear you are guys are no more together despite what you have been through together? Yes o! It’s not good to be wicked. Besides, people’s opinions do matter yea? So make the appointment with the wedding planner.

Oh! She is your baby-mama? He is the father of your child. You guys need to get married for the sake of the child? You don’t really want to get pregnant but now you don’t know if any man would want to get married to an ‘after one’ so you will stick with him despite the fact that it’s glaring he doesn’t love you? You love your baby so much you won’t want another woman to maltreat your child. So you will put up with her though she is not what you really desire? Truly, it won’t be nice if you people let the child suffer for your mistakes so for the child, call the planner.

Were you betrothed to each other? Your coming together is as a result of a pact reached by your parents? They feel the families are close and a marital bond will make it stronger? They must unite the two of you so that the family business will continue and the wealth still within the circle? And the truth is you don’t really like this other person. But you need to honor your father and mother right? It’s a commandment to do so. So you don’t have a choice se? Make the call straight away.

Are you getting married because you need to give birth? If not that you need a legitimate biological child to carry on with the family name, you wouldn’t want to get married. Or you just want to marry for marrying sake? There are some privileges that won’t be accrued to you if you don’t get married? Please get married by force o. you need to fulfill your desire.

There are a million and one reasons why the wedding planner must be called but are the reasons genuine? Are the reasons really true? Have you ever thought if you could forever pitch your tent with your partner even if situation changes? Are you sincerely happy from the depth of your heart when you people are together alone? Are you having a beautiful relationship or just coping with him or her? Do you trust him at all? Has that crazy doubt for whatever reason, ever raced through your mind yet you still want to stick? Are your moves really you or just borne out of anxiety, fear or desperation?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not against you getting married. A tweet – ‘if you pay your girlfriend an unexpected visit and she doesn’t fidget when you are fiddling with her BB…call a wedding planner’- inspired this. What if that girlfriend of yours has another phone? What if your boyfriend’s other girlfriends know when to call and when not to call him? What if her boyfriends’ contacts are stored as female names? What if those incriminating chats are never left undeleted a second after discussion? What if…?

Am I afraid? No! I am just worried. Worried why marriages of six months are falling and that of 60years are still standing. I am uneasy why homes of less than five years are collapsing. I am bothered why even the marriages of our so called religious leaders who are supposed to be our guides are failing. I am disturbed because of a woman that loved her husband is now cheating. I am perturbed because some married men are no longer eager to go home after work. I am confused because just less than a year after making that vow, you are (still) sleeping with your colleague(s). I am flustered because your friend knows more about you than your husband (wife). There is commotion in my head because I can’t seem to place what went wrong after the wedding planner left.

You don’t need to be an expert to know some things. It’s just common sense. You should know marriage shouldn’t be based on sentiment. It should never be out of desperation. Peer or family pressure shouldn’t be a reason why we must get married. You should at this age know it will be the costliest mistake to hang-in based on pity. Because she is my first love or I her first love should never be a reason for holding on to what is apparently wrong. We shouldn’t go gold-digging, ‘silver-mining’ or ‘diamond-seeking’ as reasons for calling the wedding planner. We must ensure that our reasons are based on genuine concern, care and love for all the parties involved. The purpose of marriage shouldn’t be self-serving.

Believe me, there is a place of God in choosing right. Prayer is key, Grace is vital and Favor is essential.

Joobreel 

Revenge Served Cold

Not too long ago in a not too far away village called Airegin where the source of livelihood lies in palm kernel oil, there was an uprising that almost engulfed the land. Fathers were killing sons, daughters were eating their mothers, friends became sworn enemies and the gods kept silent. There was rape, famine, pain and agony in the land. Innocent bloods were spilled, evil persisted yet, the keepers of the gate left it open. Palm kernels were harvested in millions of bunches by the winning group and anyone who stood against them or that was not in their support was either killed or jailed. You either stand with them or die. Just a little indifference will cost you your life either directly on the pathways as you walk or indirectly in their jails. There was total chaos. There was no mercy.

When the revolt and counter-revolt got to an unbearable point, the Elders of a neighboring land of ASU waded in the troubled waters of Airegin. They called all the warring factions in the land and advised them on what to do. They said they did it in their land and it is working. That even the fore-fathers of Airegin did it and it worked before greed scattered it. So the people of Airegin took the advice. They would unanimously appoint a king that would rule for a maximum of 52moons twice. This pegs his total ruling season at 104moons. This king will have an Otun that will step in if he the king is unavailable, messes up or dies. There will also be two ruling but different councils of chiefs that would be selected from each family in the village. These councils will serve as guides to the king. They will also have the authority to dethrone by majority, the king of the land. With this arrangement, the elders of ASU said, no family will cheated and there will be equality in the land.

So a man named Oba who came from the family of the cheated was agreed upon to be the King. And just as advised, he had Otun and the council of chiefs. With Oba’s experience as a former warrior, he was able to successfully rule for the first 52moons. By the time he was coming for his second season, he had become very powerful. He became so powerful the people that those who sponsored his selection could not handle him. He wielded his Kingly power so much he became a terror to them. He was able to impose in his friends, praise-singers, concubines and loyalists among families as chiefs in the two councils. He gave palm kernel merchandize to some of his God-sons, to some he appointed as advisers in his palace, to some as liaison chiefs between his village and other villages. He became a force to reckon with in the land, you dare not go against him. He will crush you.

When he was leaving after he ruled 104moons, he imposed one of his concubines – Heytay, as the head of one of the councils of chiefs when the next king was being installed. Other chiefs were furious but could not do much because of Oba’s Influence. About four-half moons into the new season, Heytay used 628 bags of cowries to buy 12 horses and repair her hut. This was the mistake that the chiefs were looking for. They fumed fire and brimstone. They would not agree that Heytey remains their head. There would be no gathering of the chiefs if she doesn’t vacate the position as their head. A chief named Pharook led this brouhaha. It was bad enough she was head, but now that she has done something wrong, she must go. Oba’s power could not withstand the insurrection; his concubine had to be removed as the head. Oba bowed out in shame.

Several moons later, it was discovered that palms harvested on the farms were more than the oils produced. Some Palm Kernel merchants were suspected to be stealing from the village. Chief Pharook who has been a member of the council of chiefs from inception was appointed as a team-head  of chiefs that will look into the case. Chief Pharook was chosen because of his long-lasting uprightness in the council. After so much investigation, a particular merchant was among those that were fingered to be stealing. Ifetola is his name and he happens to be Oba’s godson. Though he is a palm merchant, he doesn’t produce oil. His trade is to produce chaff used for cooking. Chief Pharook told him he would have to pay.

So Ifetola ran to Oba and told him about events unfolding. Oba responded, ‘my son, everybody steals. Everybody is a thief, just that they have not been caught. I will teach you what to do.’ And he added ‘I even have personal issue with that Pharook. He was the one that led the chiefs that ouster my concubine as their head. I will deal with him.’ He said he would let Pharook know that ‘once a king, always a king.’ And Ifetola knowing that no one offends Oba and goes scot-free, he allowed his godfather played the game he knows how to play best-revenge.

Oba called the head of the king’s guard, told him he wants to make a thief out of Pharook in the eyes of the villagers.  He also told Ifetola to promise Pharook 450 bags of cowries so that he would not be named among those that will pay for stealing. He said to his son ‘everybody has a price; it is for u to know the amount.’ Ifetola did as he was told. He called Pharook and gave him some painted cowries in the presence of the king’s guards without his knowledge. After two moons, Oba told Ifetola, ‘though he has removed your name, now is the time to nail him.’

So Ifetola came out openly to tell the villagers that he gave Pharook some handfuls of cowries and set the king’s guards to be witnesses. And chief pharook went back and forth on collecting or not collecting the cowries. Pharook then said he collected it to let the villagers know that Ifetola bribed him. And the story kept going to and fro.

One thing is clear; Ifetola can’t have access to the king’s guards if his godfather did not pull the strings. He would have gone to the village guards if it was his idea to show that he was not a thief. And if he (or is it his godfather?) didn’t have ulterior motives, he wouldn’t have confessed after his name has been removed. Moreover, how did he manage to be among the richest men in the village in just 728moons (three-half seasons)?

And either chief Pharook admits it or not, either he demanded or he was enticed, either he has supporters or not, he is going down in history as a pretending and corrupt chief. His brilliantly built image as a chief of repute has been bashed. He has found himself on the tree with branches far apart. It doesn’t matter if he is a Nailizarb or Nairegin monkey, any attempt to leap will bring him smashing on the ground with an echoing thud. Just has Heytay made that disgraceful move, Pharook fell for the bait and believe me, the battle is beyond him and Ifetola. He has found himself in an intricate web which he can’t loosen himself from.

Is Oba the person at war with Pharook?

Joobreel

A very big thank you

Good day everyone, how was your weekend? Mine was hectic yet beautiful. It was superb. I had one of the best weekends of my life. I loved every part of it. 

Well, its a new week so let's make the best out of it. Put your mind to work on whatever you are set to do. Have a solid, well written plan for the week, focus on attaining on all the goals you have set out for yourself, have a determined mind to see them achieved, don't procrastinate and remember to pray. That is the key to achieving success. I have heard of a man that said ' He was so much in a hurry to finish the day's activities that he has just two hours to pray every morning'. Two hours in the morning. He knew the importance of prayer that he always finished his set objectives no matter how numerous daily.

Before I go, let me gist you of how how my birthday went down. I didn't have to iron as I intended. In fact, I didn't touch a thing called iron. It was 'merrying' all day. So much to drink and eat. However, that wasn't  the most important part of the day.  The sweetness of the day started when I started receeiving messages.

I made I thanksgiving prayer till around 12am and boom! The first BB message and the rest I couldn't note. They were troops of messages text, FB, twitter and I was wowed! I couldn't keep up with responding to them. Some were wishing me well, some prayers, some 'ganster' types, some were admonishments, different forms. I really do appreciate them.

Then calls came in the day from various people, some expected some surprising. Then all my Blackberry contacts that knew me directly had their display pictures up for me. I was thrilled. I got the sweetest greeting when Folabi and Ife sent me a voice message, best encouraging words when Funmi Adedeji-Aluko called me for over 10mins, most surprising picture display when Thorby said she had waited months to use 'that' picture of mine as her dp,  most surprising call from my sweet mum -Mrs Ogunjobi, the longest call when Uncle Abo called and that call was the most hilarious,  most emotional outburst when I responded Yusuf's message (he was d 1st to send a message to me *Thanks Bro* ), the best hug from Olamipo, best gift from Opeyemi  and the most exciting moment, when my RIGHT HAND MEN showed up. It was fun all day.

I really want to use this medium to thank my family members - BOB, Symbol, Yombols, Shopsy, Cindy,  Dupsy, Pepisco, Adex, Sisqo G, Beejay, 'Mo, Fola, A.I.R, Peejay, Mizzle, Dami, Uncle T'abo, Tosino, Papuchillo, Anty Folake, Sister Sade, Anty Shade, Olamipo, Base. 4, Loosh, Quuen Proxy, Shalewa, endless...

My friends too numerous to mention like Tola, Tope, Titi, Lanre, Kenny, Thorby, Wyclef, Kolade, Fola, Goro, Chino, Oge, Sherifat, Stanley,  Chidi, Yomi, Bola, Florence, Mama niyen, Bolu, David, Adam, Tolu, MSB, Wale, Isaac, Ife Adebayo, Joseph, Shakur, Yetunde, Desola, Hollar, Oyinlola, Dara,  Funmi, Adiga, Kole, Olakay, Segun, Iwayemi, Lanre, Sleek, Seun, Ifedunni, Ojelabi, ACE Dude, Akeem, Tutuola, Freda and others.

My friends that wished me well via Facebook (i dear not try to write those names because there wont be space to do so, and am sure my memory will fail me)

My RHM - Hydee, Sean and Ibk. My super-special sweetheart - Opeyemi.

Please, if your name isn't mentioned, it doesn't make you less important to me. You are always appreciated.

I thank everybody here-mentioned or not, for making me know that I am loved. I give glory to God for endowing me with beautiful people- you guys are the best.

To my wonderful parents,you are always loved.

That's a picture of me and my cake. Its still remaining and If you want, ring me.

NB:  Please, I need a PA to respond to my over 200 posts on FB.

Joobreel

A robot should do

Need me a robot

See, free that talk. There are things I know I can do very well. No be for mouth. One of them is looking good. I sometimes look pretty.  (That ‘pretty’ word can earn me 14 years o). But seriously, from ankara to atiku, lace to linen, guinea to batik (most of them are aso-ebi anyways) or getting some super-cool materials for regular shirts, non-conventional tops and the likes; all there is to be done is for either Samson, Erons, Frank, Mikky or Quddus to carve them. These guys must pay for this advert.
And if it’s to 'combinason' (Jenifa's style) Polos or tees with denims or pants, I hail myself. A special thanks to my fashion and style consultant. #winks. Flipping through the pages of magazines is not beans. And even when I go like the new CBN policy- cashless, I still always appear like a Nigerian Senator. Ooshe!
Here is the real deal not legend stout o, one of the prices to pay is getting those clothes back to shape after use. It’s big a price and it’s getting to me real good. I got home yesterday night and had to take some clothes off the line that I left for drying after washing. Washing is no biggy as Oyinbo in their numerous ways have made it easier. But ironing those clothes? Chai! Na there wahala de o.

As I dropped the new off-the-line clothes on a bed in the room where I left the previous ones, it occurred clearly to me that ironing is not my hobby at all. Singlets, boxer’s shorts, shirts, denims, pants, name them; all of them 'yapa' on top the bed. Already washed, not yet ironed. Some date as far back as 3 weeks.

 Since the white people didn't do ironing machine, an ironing robot is all I desire. So if you have the means, please buy me one. And mind you, I will only accept the one that is battery-powered because I use a PAYGO NEPA meter. If the minister of power fit de import energy-saving bulbs, who I be to de consume light anyhow? Another alternative is for you to direct me to someone that irons only. But that too will cost me.
Hmm, got it! I will dedicate this Saturday for ironing all these clothes. Yes! That's the best thing to do. But that day happens to be my birthday. That means no groove, no party, no drinks, no food, just ironing. Therefore if in your mind, you (Stanley, Tutuola, Oyin, Okey, Seun, Alero, Tobi etc) have been thinking how it is going down, just forget it.
It’s ironing all the way. Come over to my place and let’s iron.
Hehehe
Joobreel

The too many roaches in my apartment

These things don tire me o. How would I explain killing an average of five cockroaches in my apartment weekly? Which mouth I wan take talk am? I need help ASAP!

How on earth did these nonsense things find their ways into a newly finished flat in a newly completed building? Were they sent? Abi na me be there papa ni? What exactly are they looking for because I don’t have crumbs of foods littering the house? Every part of the house is always squeaky-clean. And when I say squeaky-clean, I am damn serious. Yet these flying nuisances display themselves like they own the place.

I have used a number of naija-made insecticides (make I no yarn names go fall some companies hand) all to no avail. I consoled myself that probably all the insecticides in my area are fakes. The things got to me so much I cried out. Then I realized it wasn’t just me, it’s a general problem. My neighbors are having a fair dose of theirs too .I laff a big laff wen dem tell me their own tori.

We concluded we would fumigate the whole compound and the apartments which we did. We consulted one of the numerous supposed fumigators that have their phone numbers written boldly on most walls on the streets of Lagos (You definitely know those numbers now). Na lie, the ting no work. So we called him that we still see roaches. He said the ‘nest’ of the roaches would definitely be from the foundation or inside the roof of the building. That is why they didn't all die. Na so the story end!

So if you come to my house for whatsoever ever reason and cockroaches try to kiss you or compete for chairs, just chill. They are my flat mates for now. Since I have tried all I could and I can’t  ‘uproot’ my landlord’s house, neither can I dismantle nor go into the roof to look for their source, you will have to bear with me. I am not giving up on the fight though. If you please have any solution to this dilemma of mine, kindly proffer it. I am not tired to keep fighting them. Not now! Not Never!

It looks like joke but a no dey joke o. I need answers fast. #crying

Joobreel

Is my president really weak?

Who is Goodluck Jonathan? Is he truly Just On National Assignment To Harm All Nigerians as some flickers from some quarters have tagged him? Could a 'man- without- shoes' when he was campaigning to be president aims be to harm us in this our nation Nigeria? Or has he changed now that he has hundreds of them? Could it be that he has become insensitive to the plights of the common man because he claimed to be a common man like us when he was campaigning rigorously after ascending to the position of the Acting President when his predecessor died in office? Could it just be by chance that my president is being continuously ill-advised by those that surround him or some of the members of his workforce are really plotting his downfall? Are the numerous special advisers and assistants that orchestrate all his actions be the culprits behind the mishaps he dishes to the citizenry?

 How about the ‘northern powers’ that promised to make Nigeria ungovernable for him, are they the ones at work? Are they the drummers behind the shameful dance of our president? I don't want to believe they are responsible for the numerous bombings and kidnaps just in the name of making the nation difficult to run. 'Naija' must really be in the waters with turbulent waves if these power mongers are the culprit behind the wide-spread hardship in this nation.

My president once said he knows these people. He admitted the trouble-makers are Nigerians with known faces. He openly confessed these evil perpetrators live among us. What then is Goodluck Jonathan waiting for to arrest this situation? Can’t he apprehend these elements of discord? Can’t GEJ use all his machineries as the most powerful president in the world (at least some referred to him as that during the fuel-subsidy saga) to bring these supposed ‘enemies of his tenure’ to book? What is the Nigerian Police Force for, receiving bribes and handouts from motorists? No! They are supposed to work the works for which they have been called for. We have the States Secrets Service Agents, are they for decorations. Maybe these people are more powerful to be toyed with. Maybe they are too big for our SSS and Police. Or are these trouble-fomenting northern politicians just one of our propaganda?

Wait a minute; is Mr. Goodluck really in charge of the affairs of this nation Nigeria? Am I thinking that someone that found himself by chance at helms of affairs of African most populous country isn’t a good politician?  Maybe not being a super-politician was the origin of his problems. Could it be that he is just adrift and not in control of the happenings around him? Has he left his primary duty as the Chief Security Officer to the supposed security chiefs he has. Has Mr. Ebele resigned to faith that he is incapable to running this country and just waiting for his tenure to elapse? Who knows? My mind is running amok over these disturbing questions that await answers.

Could the saying that ‘Nigeria is too complex for him to handle’ be true? Has the system so collapsed that it can’t be revamped by mere good luck? Has the state of the nation so degenerated that it will take a stronger-willed person to restore Nigeria to her past glory?  Could it be that my president is just taking his time, waiting for the right time to player his joker?

These amongst many other questions bother me when I think about this big ship – Nigeria. And when a ship sinks, the captain is held responsible.

Mr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has been tagged ‘weak’ when he cried at the scene of the Dana Crash that occurred in Lagos where 153 persons died. So I am beginning to wonder, if my president is really weak? Is he strong enough to steer this ship to shore safely? Time will tell.

Joobreel