WHO WE LOVE, WHO WE SETTLE FOR AND WHO WE ARE MEANT FOR

I went through my BB’s recent updates and saw ‘there is a big difference between who we love, who we settle for and who we are meant for’ on a younger friend’s (about 16 yrs old) personal message and I was wowed. I was fascinated by the simple truth the message transmits. I loved it so much I copied and pasted it on my TL which automatically updates my FB status. About three hours later, I got an FB notification that someone made a comment. I checked and it was another friend of mine’s comment and she asked ‘So, what’s the difference?’ 

Then I said to myself, this is simple English now. ‘Who we love’ is who we really care about, who we want to be with, who we are fond of, the one who makes us smile when we think about him (her)…; who we settle for is the person we got as a result of either our wrong or right moves and who we are meant for is the person we should really be with. Very Simple!

Suddenly, some thoughts on the question popped up in my mind in a very different dimension. Now before I proceed, I have answered the question of ‘what is the difference?’ in simple plain terms so you can stop reading because the next explanations might not be acceptable to you. Also, let me bring to your notice if you didn’t know that I am not a marriage/relationship counselor/expert, a motivational speaker neither am I a Bible Scholar, so anything I write is my opinion which makes it subjective. Discussing these different but closely related phrases goes thus:

Will

Will according to the Encarta Dictionaries means ‘the part of the mind with which somebody consciously decides things’. It also means ‘the power to make decisions’.  Another meaning is ‘a desire or inclination to do something’. With these three definitions of the word ‘will’, we can see that ‘will’ has to do with decision making by our thought-process, the choices we make. Will can be an inclination or desire that arises from the inner-most part our existence. Possibly the subconscious and underlying figments coming to play outwardly, thereby fine-tuning our conscious self into making strong, desirable decisions backed by determination.

There are two types of will – the will of God (Father) [Math. 12:50; Mark 3:55] and the will of man (Flesh) [2 Peter 1:21; John 1:13]. Though God is our creator, yet he gave us the liberty to choose what we desire (Luke 22:42) but admonishes us to choose that which is good (Deut. 30:19) that we and our seed may live. Now there is will of God that is good, another is acceptable and the last is perfect [Romans 12:2]. You might begin to wonder, what has will got to do with the issue at hand? Don’t rush, just chill.

Who we love

When we decide to love someone for whatever reason we choose, we are doing our will. Don’t get me wrong here; the love I am talking about is that which is related to ‘marriage /relationship things’. The guy you are dating beats the crap out of you, your girlfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend doesn’t respect you, and your girlfriend can’t be trusted on any issue and amongst all these, you still decide to love him (her). May be he (she) loves you so much and you love him (her) in return or probably you have been hurt and you will never love him (her) anymore, then it’s your choice, your decision.

You have decided nothing will make you practice law, you will never quit drinking, you will always preach the gospel, you must go to Canada, you must marry that person at all cost, you will not quit till you succeed on a particular thing, you gave up on something, and you must kill that person. You have made your choices, you have decided.

‘Who we love’ are our choices, our decisions, and our resolves. Who we love are those things we have made up our minds on to do whatever the outcomes are. These are our wills – The will of man. These choices of ours can either be good ones or bad ones.

Who we settle for

The outcomes of our decisions are who we settle for. They are the consequences of our moves. At the moment ‘we love’ a lady whose father is a drug baron and mother a professional prostitute, and she turns out to be a thief, that is what ‘we settle for’. At this point, you don’t cry over spill milk. What you have sown as a will, you reap as an outcome.

Sometimes, who we love is supposed to be who we are meant for but for some reasons, we end with some else. If who we settle for eventually is good enough or very close to ‘who we are meant for’ but for circumstances, meaning we are still on course but for some temporary setbacks, that is ‘acceptable’ or ‘permissible’ will of God. This is the case of Abram when he gave birth to Ishmael. But when who we settle for is not near who we are meant for but for our own selfish reasons and God in is sovereignty permitted it, it could be disastrous. This is a case of Hezekiah when rather than die in God’s perfect will, requested for more time.

Who we are meant for

Locating who we are meant for is not yam neither is it beans, It requires a whole lot of letting go. Yet, it is the easiest thing to do. Like an adage in Yoruba language ‘where we are going is not far, it is those points where we stop to greet that are numerous’ (translated). There is just one woman out there that suits  just one man. Its takes trusting God totally and leaning not on your guts that will make you locate this partner of yours.

Discovering your own special purpose for which you have been called it the utmost on earth. Fulfilling this purpose is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you. Hey! Don’t think about what you are not reading here, it’s not everybody that is called to be a pastor, Rev. Bishop or the likes. No, that’s not what I am saying. The ‘parable of the talent’ wasn’t about being a priest or whatever; it was about using the little that has been bestowed upon you for propagating His work and Human development in your own unique way.

The perfect will of God is seeking and finding that only person that is meant for you. The perfect will of God is by His grace, discovering your purpose and fulfilling it. Who you love, who you settle for and who you are meant for are three separate entities but If who you love is the same person you settle for and it’s that same person that you are meant for, then there is no way you won’t be a god before you leave this world.

Joobreel

Selling the Presidential Jets

Mrs. Joyce Banda of Malawi is the second female president in africa. I didnt like her for supporting same sex marriage in order to accrue cheap foreign aids from Western Nations.

Now I am having a change of mind when she decided to sell the country's only presidential jet and 60 Mercedes Limousines in the president's fleet. She flew to the Queen's Jubilee celebration in a British Airways plane. The presidential jet has an annual running cost of about E220,000. This is a measure she has taken to overturn the bad decisions of previous government.

The president of Nigeria has 11 private jets. ( what is 11 sef when a pastor has 4?) He met 9 on ground and bought 2 more. The cost of running these luxury air buses we would never know. If in Malawi they spend that much, what will be said of Nigeria where our president, first lady and the others travel like they are moving from Lekki to Victoria Island?

My questions are these. Is it possible for Mr. president to sell 10 of those things at least he can use just 1 at a time? Oh! The wife will use 1, the senate president 1, the PDP chairman 1, the two first children 1 each, special adviser will share 1... the lost is endless.
If the prime minister of Britain doesn't have a private jet and travels in commercial airlines, why cant our politicians do same?
If public servants of this nation stop taking chartered/private flights especially for their local travels, will the state of our aviation industry be like this?
Would there be incessant plane crashes if the first family and their numerous accolades take public flights?

 The aviation minister said the reports of the SOSOLISO and ADC airlines crashes that happened eons ago are ready but pending approval before it can be released. Help me to ask her 'when is the earliest possible time to expect the report of the DANA crash'? When?
Joobreel

Still on the matter...

The following unedited chat ensued after my a big brother of mine read the blog. could lack of adeqaute mentorship be the bane of Mr President's trouble. Peruse through the BB chat and make contributions.
lets go
Participants:
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__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_, PP

Messages:
---------
PP:
I think he likes goin by the book
PP:
He sometimes needs to use his executive powers
PP:
In that way he will probably annoy some people
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
But he has never for once used the power he possesses? Reason y som ppl think he is weak
PP:
Forcing some of the pple bankrolling the chaos to loose their cool
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
But sir, shd he keep being docile despite knowing the culprits behind the chaos and turmoil  the nation is. Going through?
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Because he doesn't want to roughen some pples feathers?
PP:
Yeah
PP:
That's y I feel he was not well schooled in the art of leadership
PP:
I think he severed relationship too early with his political godfathers
PP:
Na soo
PP:
I know he has gud intentions for nigeria
PP:
But nig needs pple like obj
PP:
Abacha and their likes
PP:
Unorthodox leaders
PP:
Jonathan is not one
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Hmmm. Word!
PP:
The matter is complicated further by the fact that he is not a hausa nor of muslim extraction
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Then he shd just keep his mute come 2015 then
PP:
I hope so too
PP:
Or alternatively I hope a better candidate emerges
PP:
Someone with strength of character
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
But. We. Have had muslim and hausa leaders now, then didn't do much good either
PP:
We had less crisis as well
PP:
So while the economy or standard of livin was suffering, people were safe
PP:
So there was no widespread anger against the president
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
So that's d game hausas are playing against our toothless president.  neva saw things this way. Hmmm!
PP:
I think jonathan to me now seems to be the most unpopular president in nigerian history
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
 think so too. He has been rated worse than abacha sef
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
His crime now is because he is not well grounded in nigerian politics.  pity d guy
PP:
Boko haram is not a sy problem
PP:
Its a religious n political issue
PP:
Wait until one prominent hausa man is killed
PP:
Boko haram will cease that day
PP:
Of course
PP:
He has no ideology
PP:
Abacha was harsh
PP:
He needed to keep obj on board for a longer period
PP:
Yeah
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
He was too much in a hurry to show what he can do on his own. He screwed up! If Obj is still wt him, he will have faired beta dan dis
PP:
He shd have made him more relevant
PP:
So he could ride on his experience n political clout
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Hmmm!
PP:
Most likely
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Maybe he wanted to quickly dissociate from Obj cos pple he think he was just going to be a puppet while obj ll be running d country from behind.
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
He wanted to prove a point.
PP:
Yeah
PP:
We aLl need mentors
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
Yeah! We really do need dem. Thanks for ur insight.
PP:
He could have done more smoothly but maintain d link
PP:
Lol
PP:
It was nice
PP:
Gistin wit ya man
PP:
Thanks to bb
PP:
:)
__̅_̅̅_̅̅̅  Joobreel®™Olamide  _̅̅̅_̅̅_̅_:
U r welcome  sir;

Is my president really weak?

Who is Goodluck Jonathan? Is he truly Just On National Assignment To Harm All Nigerians as some flickers from some quarters have tagged him? Could a 'man- without- shoes' when he was campaigning to be president aims be to harm us in this our nation Nigeria? Or has he changed now that he has hundreds of them? Could it be that he has become insensitive to the plights of the common man because he claimed to be a common man like us when he was campaigning rigorously after ascending to the position of the Acting President when his predecessor died in office? Could it just be by chance that my president is being continuously ill-advised by those that surround him or some of the members of his workforce are really plotting his downfall? Are the numerous special advisers and assistants that orchestrate all his actions be the culprits behind the mishaps he dishes to the citizenry?

 How about the ‘northern powers’ that promised to make Nigeria ungovernable for him, are they the ones at work? Are they the drummers behind the shameful dance of our president? I don't want to believe they are responsible for the numerous bombings and kidnaps just in the name of making the nation difficult to run. 'Naija' must really be in the waters with turbulent waves if these power mongers are the culprit behind the wide-spread hardship in this nation.

My president once said he knows these people. He admitted the trouble-makers are Nigerians with known faces. He openly confessed these evil perpetrators live among us. What then is Goodluck Jonathan waiting for to arrest this situation? Can’t he apprehend these elements of discord? Can’t GEJ use all his machineries as the most powerful president in the world (at least some referred to him as that during the fuel-subsidy saga) to bring these supposed ‘enemies of his tenure’ to book? What is the Nigerian Police Force for, receiving bribes and handouts from motorists? No! They are supposed to work the works for which they have been called for. We have the States Secrets Service Agents, are they for decorations. Maybe these people are more powerful to be toyed with. Maybe they are too big for our SSS and Police. Or are these trouble-fomenting northern politicians just one of our propaganda?

Wait a minute; is Mr. Goodluck really in charge of the affairs of this nation Nigeria? Am I thinking that someone that found himself by chance at helms of affairs of African most populous country isn’t a good politician?  Maybe not being a super-politician was the origin of his problems. Could it be that he is just adrift and not in control of the happenings around him? Has he left his primary duty as the Chief Security Officer to the supposed security chiefs he has. Has Mr. Ebele resigned to faith that he is incapable to running this country and just waiting for his tenure to elapse? Who knows? My mind is running amok over these disturbing questions that await answers.

Could the saying that ‘Nigeria is too complex for him to handle’ be true? Has the system so collapsed that it can’t be revamped by mere good luck? Has the state of the nation so degenerated that it will take a stronger-willed person to restore Nigeria to her past glory?  Could it be that my president is just taking his time, waiting for the right time to player his joker?

These amongst many other questions bother me when I think about this big ship – Nigeria. And when a ship sinks, the captain is held responsible.

Mr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has been tagged ‘weak’ when he cried at the scene of the Dana Crash that occurred in Lagos where 153 persons died. So I am beginning to wonder, if my president is really weak? Is he strong enough to steer this ship to shore safely? Time will tell.

Joobreel